Big fish? Small fish? God wants both.

One question I've asked myself repeatedly this past week is "where do I find that I trust God the most? How about the least?"

My immediate response in my journal was a little something like this:

"I feel like I trust God the most in allowing Him to make the decision in a situation where I am completely unbiased.
For example: Let's say a 5 year old girl had to choose between going to get Cinderella's autograph at Disney World, or watching Beauty and the Beast in 4-D, also at Disney World. Both sound just downright mind-blowing to this 5 year old girl. So it's easy to leave the choice in God's hands because it seems that either way, you'll be happy!
But what about those decisions where you clearly desire one way over the other? Do I still trust God 100%? Hmm...
Well, I know I still "trust" Him. But then that "S" word comes into play...surrender. I trust Him to make the decision best for me, but I still have a hard time surrendering my desires to His will. Which can be a big problem when trying to hear from God on which way to go; because I can confuse His voice with the voice of my desires. It is CRUCIAL that when trying to hear from Him, I'm handing all things over in to His hands. It in no way means that I have to throw away, forget about, or abandon my desires. I just need to learn to yield them to God."

Anyways, that's just what I initially wrote down when asked the question. The more I think though, and the more I ask God to really "test me and know me", the more I'm realizing that that is not where I trust God the least. Becuase that is more of a "surrender" issue, than a "trust" issue. I'm finding that I trust God the least in all the little things, not the "big fish" situations... the "small fish" situations.

Why? Maybe because I feel like the GOD of the entire UNIVERSE doesn't need to be concerned with such minute details in my life such as "Should I switch work shifts so that I can go to the Dunes? Or should I not?" So a lot of the times, I find myself ditching God in these situations, and making the decision for myself. Why? Because I feel funny asking God such a small question because all my life up until this past year, I've only let God in on the "big things". (I think I just got another idea for a blog post...)

The more I come to know God though, the more I realize this is exactly what He wants. He wants such an intimate relationship with me, that He's involved in every infinitesimal detail in my life.

He certainly KNOWS me that intimately. Psalms 139 is my proof.

God knows what I dreamed about last night. He knows what I ate for lunch 2 days ago. He knows where that ring of mine is that I lost at the beginning of the summer. He knows what I think of my neighbor.

If He knows all those "seemingly small" details of my life, why wouldn't He want to be my decision maker in those "tiny" situations of mine??

"You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know my thoughts before I think them. You know where I go and where I lie down. You know thoroughly everything I do. Lord, even before I say a word, you already know it." Psalms 139:2-4