My good friend and I have been emailing back and forth for awhile now about what God's been doing in our lives as of recently, and something that she said resonated with me.
"I feel like we're kinda in the same place right now, but in a different way. Like, I feel like God is always working on me, and sometimes it's just really hard, because I feel like right after I've 'fixed' something in my life, God tells me to fix something else..and I know I shouldn't feel like this, but sometimes I just wish I could get a break, like I could have a month or two where I didn't have to worry about changing myself to become a better person. I know that I don't really want that though, it just seems like the easier way."
Yep... I know how you feel, friend. Just when you get to the top of one 'mountain', it's time to climb another one. And I must say that climbing mountains is quite exhausting. Some of these 'mountains' are bigger and steeper than others, but when you're continually climbing mountain after mountain, no matter what the height, you are going to be tired. You will grow weary.
So I wanted to share two things about this. The first being that, when climbing these mountains you become exhausted, right? "Feeble and utterly crushed". But when I am at the "end of myself" and beyond my own strength, is when I completely dependent on Christ. When I have no more of my own strength or pride to cling to or hide behind, is when it's just me and God. It is when I am suddenly jolted out of my self-sufficiency that I am jolted even faster and harder in to the hands of God. I was writing to my friend about this and said,
"It's like when I'm jolted out of my self-sufficiency, I am jolted even faster into the hands of God. And if it takes me breaking down for that to happen, then so be it.
A lot of the times when I'm crying, it's almost as if I can hear God crying with me. That's how close he feels."
God, keep humbling me, bringing me to the end of myself so that it's all you. Call me to things that are beyond MY strength, so that I can feel the power of relying in You and Your strength.
"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." -2 Corinthians 12:9
So later on that night, I was praying about what me and my friend were talking about, and opened my Bible up to the reading for the night (I'm currently reading Isaiah and Romans). So I turned to Isaiah 32 and read this:
"You women who are so complacent, rise up and listen to me; you daughters who feel secure, hear what I have to say! In little more than a year you who feel secure will tremble.... Tremble, you complacent women; shudder, you daughters who feel secure!" Isaiah 32:9-10,11
(God's timing is so perfect)
I'm not here to be 'comfortable', nor 'secure', and certainly not 'complacent'. That's not what me or my friend desire. We desire more than anything to become more and more like our heavenly Father with every step we take, no matter how many 'mountains' we're going to need to climb. I'm just so grateful and excited that we get to climb these 'mountains' WITH Him.
May we never be stagnant in our faith, Lord. Keep leading us into greater truths, and transforming us 'mountain by mountain' in to your likeness. Make our hearts one with Yours.
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