Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Battle is Won

The casualties of war can be catastrophic and tragic. Wounds are inevitable. Memories can be painful. Loss is horrific and deserves mourning. But victory is sweet. Victory makes every moment of pain, strife, and doubt worth it all.








Whether we choose to believe it or not, there is a war being waged right within our midst daily. The war often goes unseen, except to the select few to whom the veil has been lifted and for a moment are given the gift to receive a glimpse of the battle for our hearts. Right in front of our blinded eyes is a gruesome and bloody war is being fought for each and every one of our hearts. Kingdoms are clashing. The powers of the dark are trying their best to devour the unparalleled and preeminent powers of the light. The dark is seeking to distinguish any source of light within each of our lives and assault our hearts by distracting us from the divine and marvelous light of the Lord Jesus Christ.







One of the places where I can see and feel this battle so tangibly is when I go out with my team on Friday nights and partner with the forces of the light, and tap into the Lord’s strength and take up His armor, to battle against the darkness that has captivated the girls we minister to on the streets. The Lord’s love for them is furious. The Lord’s love for each of us is furious. But God is livid at the pain and suffering that His precious daughters in Atlanta are facing and have faced the majority of their lives. God hates seeing them be abused every day.







As I’m writing this, I am realizing the irony of the date of this truth that I am learning. It’s Veterans Day. And here I am, learning the truths of what the war for our hearts looks like. A sad fact that I’m struck with is the fact that many veterans after serving in war come home never to be the same again. The images they have seen, the losses of lives they have seen is catastrophic and leaves imprints of their minds that unfortunately send a lot of them to insanity.







Though we are not physically fighting, we see horrific things. A girl that my team has been ministering to for years was murdered just several weeks ago. We have found girls lying on the streets weeping after just being raped. We have heard stories that no one should ever have to hear, let alone experience. The casualties of this war for our hearts can be catastrophic and tragic as well. And if we’re not careful, we could begin to lose our sanity as well as our purity of mind if we are not careful to dwell on the good that is being done and the grace of Jesus Christ.







We must be so careful and intentional to dwell on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable” (Philippians 4:8) rather than allowing ourselves to be overwhelmed by the despairing and troubling things we see or hear. Because through Christ Jesus’ death and resurrection, the battle is already won. We already hold the keys to victory; so there is much to celebrate and much good to dwell on.







So tonight instead of bogging us all down with the burdensome stories that Satan and sin has destructively played into, I want to proclaim and rejoice in the victories that the Lord has brought forth in our relationships with the girls on the streets. Because so often I find myself disheartened and frustrated because I so easily become overwhelmed by the destruction and havoc that Satan is wreaking rather than being overwhelmed by the LIGHT, and all of the goodness that the Lord is cultivating in this community! That’s just who Satan is. He wants me to be impressed by his evil schemes. He wants me to be taken aback by the abominable affairs that he is originating so that I wonder where the power of the light is.



So here I am tonight, declaring that the battle is won. The victory is in the hands of Jesus Christ. And even if I never see another girl surrender her life to the Lord and be rescued from the dark, I can rest in the fact that Jesus has already won. Even when the battle looks hopeless and as a lost cause, I can say “NO” deep within my soul and know within my heart that Jesus holds the final victory.



But the beauty of this journal entry is this: there still is good being done! The name of Jesus alone is still doing miracles- even in a place where darkness is so thick and so worshipped, the name of Jesus still pierces hearts.



FOUR girls have recently decided to quit the prostitution business and pursue their dreams for a real job and family. THREE of those four have already surrendered their lives to the Lord and committed all of their days to Him. I have seen THREE healings miraculously take place through the name of Jesus in the past month. A lady that has mocked us for the past several years every time we visit her has recently opened up, broken down in tears, and called on the name of the Lord for help. Our team has gained favor at THREE additional strip clubs- permission to enter without a fee to give gifts to the working girls and tell them about our beautiful Jesus. These are just a few of the MANY victories I have witnessed recently.



The Lord is still working. He is still battling violently and aggressively for the hearts and souls of His precious daughters. And because of that, Satan is angry. Satan is furious. The enemy knows that nothing that he plots or schemes can ever stand up against the deep and passionate love the Lord has for each and every one of His sons and daughters. And that, my friends, is why we rejoice tonight.



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Saturday, October 8, 2011

The Power in the Name of JESUS

As I sit here trying to type out and process my thoughts from last night, I’m left completely dumbfounded; sitting and staring at a completely blank page with nothing but a blinking cursor bar staring straight back at me, reminding me of the depth of my complete loss for words at all that the Lord revealed to me last night. Imagining all the different ways I could express and proclaim what God showed me, I quickly drift off into a world of my own, and wish that I could somehow extract all the images stored in my head from last night and document them into video form to share for the entire world to see. Because if the world could see what I saw last night, the world would be different. The world would be in awe. The world would be in shock. The world would fall on their knees in adoration of a Holy God who is worthy of all of our praises.




Partnering with this ministry, NightLight, has been such a double-edged sword. It is one of the most painful things I’ve ever done, but also one of the most fulfilling. It’s extremely discouraging, but I’ve never been more hopeful. It’s dangerously dark, but I’ve never experienced the power of the light quite as strongly as I have this past month. These streets are a place where Satan is worshipped and in control, but just the name of Jesus still turns heads and moves hearts. I’ve never experienced a place under such oppression and chains and slavery, but I’ve also never seen the freedom of the Lord move so swiftly and boldly through individual’s hearts and lives. Chains are being broken. Heaviness is being lifted. Hearts are being restored. Because Jesus has promised, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” And we are taking Him up on that promise, having full faith that He will restore and give rest to the hearts of His precious daughters in Atlanta.



Combating against the dark and evil forces of the sex industry is difficult and heavy, often even physically exhausting, but the Lord’s light shines brighter and speaks louder than any lie that Satan has spoken. Last night, my team and I did a prayer walk throughout one of the hotels where a lot of the mainstream prostitution takes place. We walked through all of the halls on every floor and proclaimed life and freedom through the Lord. However, I was in no way prepared for the heaviness of the atmosphere in this place. I was completely overtaken by the presence of the demonic forces to the point where I couldn’t breathe. I felt as though my heart was being clenched and my throat was closing. I could do nothing but cry and proclaim the very powerful name of Jesus. “Jesus” was all that I could get out of my mouth. “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!” But I can’t even begin to tell you the power in that prayer. The name of Jesus does wonders! It was as if every time I said “Jesus”, the death grip on my heart was loosened and one by one, weeds of Satan’s lies were being killed and torn back so that more light could shine through. My Jesus reigns! No matter how much control the enemy has, the power of the name of Jesus is never diminished. Every time I cried out “Jesus”, I could literally feel chains start to fall away and heaviness start to float away. Because where the Spirit of the Lord is, freedom reigns!



After our prayer walk through the hotel, we went to the site where one of the girls we had built a relationship with on the streets had been murdered just several days before I moved down here to Atlanta. We stood on the very ground where she was murdered and proclaimed life and repented for the sins of our generation. We repented for the sins of murder, idolatry, witchcraft, and sexual immorality that have taken over the people of this area. We then felt lead to worship the Lord, right there, on those grounds. So that’s exactly what we did. As we worshipped the Lord and sang out to Him though, I saw an angel. I wasn’t the only one. Two other girls on our team witnessed this angel as well. As our group stood in a circle and worshipped and sang, I looked up and about 50 feet away, I saw a bright shining person dancing and worshipping on the street next to us. At first thought, I thought maybe one of the members of our team had wondered over there to worship, but as I looked around at our group and noticed that every single one of our team members was standing right there with me, I was taken back by the realization that an angel was there in our presence, worshipping God right alongside us, claiming life over this dead area. Trusting that God makes ALL things new, and knowing that He wants to bring beauty and restoration to this area.



God is doing big things. These are only a few of the events from last night, but I felt lead to share them with you, my friends. Because once you see these things, and witness the Lord in all of His majesty and power in this way, everything else in life becomes so trivial and silly. I am so thankful and greatly blessed that the Lord has revealed Himself to me in this way. I am the last person who deserves to see Him and His goodness, but His grace is being poured out and dumped out on me in more ways than one and I can’t help but want to share it with you all. Please continue to keep my team and I in your prayers.



“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice

and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free

and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry

and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—

when you see the naked, to clothe them,

and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousness[a] will go before you,

and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;

you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. “

-Isaiah 58:6-9

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I Don't Ever Want to Get Used to This

Last night marked my first night going downtown to work with NightLight. We went downtown at about 10:30 PM while the night was still young and stayed out until 3 AM, ministering and praying for the young women on the streets caught in the vicious cycle and stronghold of sexual trafficking and exploitation.

As I sit here nearly twelve hours later, I am still processing and almost sitting in unbelief of the things that I saw last night. It's one thing to hear about these things and maybe even see documentaries of the sex trafficking industry on the television, but it's a whole different ball game when you are standing literally two feet next to a woman while she makes a deal with a man and climbs into his truck to sell her body in desperate hopes that she'll make enough money to please her pimp and make it through the next couple days. The feeling that I felt in my stomach is simply indescribable. I could say that it felt like I was punched straight in the gut, but it was deeper than that. I could say that it felt like my heart dropped into my stomach, but it was worse than that. I could say that I felt like in that moment I had lost all ability to see or hear anything else around me, but it was far more tragic than that.

For a moment, I believe that the Lord revealed to me just the slightest amount of love He has for this young lady. And for a moment, I didn't see just "another" girl climbing into a truck with a man to do her "dirty deed". I saw a desperate young lady, broken and shattered on the inside, trying to find her way in this world. And for a moment, the Lord delivered me from my hostility and anger towards the man who "purchased" this lady for such a low price and saw just another lonely and deeply broken man, searching for intimacy in all of the wrong places and resorting to such cheap forms of love. Because all in all, we're all the same- just searching for love and truth.

As I witnessed this deal go down though, I couldn't help but cry out to the Lord, "I DON'T EVER WANT TO GET USED TO THIS!" I will be doing this sort of ministry every Friday night for an indefinite amount of time, but I never ever want to get used to this. I never want to get to the point where I see a deal like this go down, and I don't feel something going on inside of me. While I was praying this, I heard the Lord tell me:

"I never get used to this. You come once a week. I'm here every day. Every hour. Every minute. Every second. I never get used to this. I never accept this. I am not pleased with this. These are my precious daughters. I see the pain, I hear the lies that Satan tells them every day and my heart is broken for them. I CRY FOR THEM. These are my precious daughters that I was nailed to a cross to and shed blood for. I never get used to this."

So now here I am, feeling completely inadequate to portray Christ's love to these girls. But in my weakness, He is strong. I realize that no matter how hard I try to imitate God's love to them, my love for them will always pale in comparison to the Lord's deep love and jealousy for them. Fighting against the sex trafficking and exploitation industry is a very discouraging work because it often feels so hopeless, but I will press on with the perseverance and patience that the Lord demonstrated on me when saving me probably felt hopeless and like a lost cause. He didn't give up on me, and I will not give up on them.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Conspiracy: A Story of a Young Cambodian Lady Tricked into the Trap of Human Trafficking

Along with interning with NightLight comes the expectation and responsibility of diligent research on the topic of sex trafficking so that we as a team know how to speak intelligently on the issue and convey to others the deep need for justice and vindication.

I recently started reading the book, Not For Sale by David Batstone. Many of you have asked me how young girls get caught in the trap of trafficking and prostitution, and this is just one story and example from a young lady in Cambodia who was tricked into selling her body. As you read this though, I suggest that you take caution and guard your heart. The issue of human trafficking is nothing light and fluffy, rather heavy on the heart and often very discouraging. I wanted to share this story with you though, so that you can better understand the industry that my team and I will be fighting against through the wisdom, strength, and guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Also as you read this, understand that I have the opportunity to serve overseas with this ministry, NightLight, at their base in Thailand and I am in need of counsel and guidance from the Lord on whether or not an internship in Thailand would be something I should pursue or not. So please pray that the Lord will make that clear to me in the next several months ahead!

Here is the story of Srey Neang:

Srey Neang did not go on excursions beyond the occasional outing with Sovanna. She had no friends- she celebrated her fifteenth birthday alone tending the shop. Work was her life.

So when Tevy asked Srey Neang to accompany her on a trip to the ancient Buddhist temple of Angkor Wat, she practically fell speechless. Tevy lived down the street and was a close friend to Sovanna's wife, Ly, which made the invitation all the more unexpected. Because Ly had spoiled her reputation in the neighborhood, Srey Neang had resigned herself to being a social leper. Miraculously, both Sovanna's mother and Ly gave her leave to go on the trip. During the three years she had lived at their home, Srey Neang had never even a single day off.

Tevy borrowed a car for the journey. As soon as they had left Phnom Penh, Srey Neang lost her bearings. She had heard the name Angkor Wat on the lips of tourists to whom she sold cakes in the city plaza. But it could be located on the moon for all she knew.

After a long morning on the highway, a sign welcomed them to the town of Siem Reap. Tevy suddenly announced, "My cousin lives here, and I promised him that I would drop in and say hello". A few minutes later, she pulled over to park in front of a karaoke club.

They jumped out of the car and walked to a set of stairs attached to the side of the club. Tevy's "cousin" awaited them on the top landing. He introduced himself as Chuan and offered both his visitors a cold drink. After a few minutes of small talk, he ushered Tevy into an adjoining room and shut the door. Srey Neang awkwardly sat alone in the living room.

Nearly half an hour passed before the two reemerged. Tevy did not hesitate to drop a bombshell: "I've run out of cash. Before we go on to Angkor Wat, I need to pick up some money. You stay here with my cousin, and I'll come back and pick you up later."

The words packed a punch to Strey Neang's stomach. She could not identify the precise story line, but she sensed danger. "Oh, please let me go with you," she begged Tevy. "I won't be any trouble."

"No," Tevy snapped, "you'll just get in the way."

Tevy then walked swiftly to the door and down the stairs to her car. Srey Neang stood motionless for a few seconds before breaking into a convulsion of sobs.

"Oh, come on now, what are you worried about?" she heard Chuan's voice behind her. Srey Neang turned and saw his outstretched hand holding a tissue. "You'll have lots of fun here," he said.

Srey Neang did not respond, but cried quietly into the now-drenched tissue.

"Hey, why don't we go out to a nice restaraunt and celebrate your arrival in Siem Reap?" Chuan suggested. "I guarantee that you'll love the food."

Chuan raised his hand as if to say, "Wait here for a moment," and scurried off to the adjoining room. A few moments later he returned holding a beautiful black dress and matching shoes.

"These should cheer you up," he said enthusiastically. "We are going to a very nice restaraunt, the best in town, and you have to look like you belong there."

Srey Neang never imagined herself in such an elegant dress. Her wardrobe consisted of a skirt, two shirts, and a single pair of pants, all of which had turned threadbare from regular use. Perhaps, she thought, it was a stroke of luck that Tevy had left her with Chuan.

Nor had Srey Neang dined at a restaraunt where servesrs wait on customers. During the meal, Chuan asked her lots of questions about herself. Yes, she was fifteen years old. No, she did not live with her parents. She did not allow the small talk to interfere with the enjoyment of her meal.

The dinner over, they strolled back to the karaoke bar. "Let's go inside the club," Chuan said upon their arrival. "I want you to meet a couple of my friends."

Srey Neang followed him through the entrance. At first her eyes had trouble adjusting to the darkness of the room. Slowly, she could make out the scene. At nearly every table a middle-aged man enjoyed the company of two or more young women who casually draped their bodies around him.

Chuan led her through the club, occasionally pausing to give a brief greeting to a male patron. once they reached a staircase at the back of the club, he pointed upward with his index finger. Srey Neang went first. At the top of the stairs they reached a small hallway with three doors, all shut. She turned around to get further instructions. Chuan jerked his head deliberately to the right, indicating which door she was to open.

Srey Neang turned the knob and tentatively pushed forward. It startled her to see a man standing in the middle of the room as if he were anticipating her arrival. She heard the sound of the door click shut behind her. She did not need to turn her head to know that Chuan had not entered the room with her.

The room did not hold much furniture, save a bed and a small nightstand. The man, in his mid-thirties, appeared to be a Cambodian. He uttered a simple, shocking command in the local dialect: "Take off your clothes".

Srey Neang reeled backward toward the door. "I'm sorry," she said, trying her best to keep a steady voice. "You must be confusing me with someone else."

"No, I'm not mistaken," he replied. "I paid good money for you." He then held out the palms of his hands, whispering, "Now be a good girl, and show me what you've got under that dress."

Srey Neang spun around and flew out the door in retreat. Chuan, however, was waiting for her on the other side of the door. He wrapped his arms around her torso and squeezed her in a strong bear hug. Srey Neang struggled with all her might but could not break free.

"Let go of me, you brute!" she screamed.

"You aren't going anywhere until you pay back what you owe me!" Chuan yelled as he dragged her toward the room.

"What do you mean, 'what I owe you'?" she asked incredulously. "You never gave me any money!"

"Oh, yeah, how about your dinner tonight?" he said. "You also owe me for those clothes you're wearing. And I gave $150 to that woman who brought you here this afternoon."

Once he finished listing her debts, Chuan shoved her toward the man, saying, "Now unless you have some other way of paying me, get to work!"

"Tevy had no right to sell me!" Srey Neang protested in red rage. "I've never had anything to do with that witch until she tricked me into coming on this trip."

Chuan could not have shown any less interest in fairness. Ignoring her plea, he changed tactics: "You aren't fooling me with your fake innocence. I know you're already used goods."

"What do you take me for?" asked Srey Neang. "I'm still a virgin!"

"That's not the story I got," Chuan said as he chuckled. "Young girls should not be screwing around with other women's husbands."

In a flash, the veil fell from Srey Neang's eyes. So here was her punishment for being a close friend to Sovanna. She had fallen for an intricate conspiracy. The air went out of her rebellion.

Chuan, sensing his victory, offered encouragement: "Hey, don't worry. After a few times, it's not hard. You'll get used to it."

By night's end, four adult men had raped Srey Neang. The nights to follow never got better.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

2010- a year for the books

Well, another year has come and gone. The end of the year always has a way of sneaking up without me realizing it. As I meditate upon what the year 2010 has brought to me, and even taken away from me, I can't help but sit and be utterly dumbfounded at just how faithful and loving our Lord is. He is so good. All the time. When I contemplate all that the Lord did for me in 2010, I can rest assured that He will again be faithful in 2011. No matter what circumstances and situations that 2011 may bring, He is good and above it all.

2011 was a year full of trials and rejoicings, tears and laughter, blessings and pruning. I was blessed far more than I deserve. The Lord was faithful to grow me and teach me in every moment. Even in those sticky, irritating, and dreadful circumstances, I pushed through because I knew the promise of James 1:2-4. Through our trials and hard times, the Lord is growing us to become more like Him, which is the ultimate goal! So if the trials and heartaches are what it takes to slowly but surely become more like Jesus, I say "bring it on".

"He gives and takes away. He gives and takes away. But my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name."

My biggest lessons of 2010 consisted of learning:

-that not all relationships are beneficial. End them gracefully before they end in a train wreck.

-you DON'T want things to go the way YOU planned. No, no, no.

- God KNOWS your future plans. He's not trying to hide them from you. Just be still and wait on His perfect timing.

-people will let you down. The Lord never will though.

-I am capable of so much more when I take my focus off of what I can do and humble myself to nothing, knowing that the LORD is the power and strength behind all my abilities.


Don't mistake me though. 2010 was certainly not all trials and sufferings, not even close! Like I said, I was blessed far more than I deserve. 2010 was a year of growing friendships, new adventures, exciting new steps, and much of worshiping and praising God.

Here are some of my top highlights from 2010:
Helping my best friends get ready for Snowball 2010.

Entering another great season of Five Star and watching one of my students, Kirstan (above) win the Student of the Year Award. So proud of her.
Forming an even closer friendship with my best friend, Heather Stevens. Spending countless and endless nights just being silly, giving honest and godly opinions and advice, picking each other up when the other is down, and just looking out for each other :)
Spending my 17th birthday with my Five Star students.
Dying my hair blonde...... ;)
Spending a month of my summer serving the beautiful orphans of Monterrey, Mexico. <3

Forming lifelong friends while in Mexico through inseparable bonds of serving the Lord together through every high and low.
Having God rock my world in a way completely unexpected while in Mexico. His promises stand even when I doubt.
Seeing the magnificent power and mercy of God through one of the most terrifying events of my life, Hurricane Alex.
Being broken again for the children in poverty and without parents in Monterrey, Mexico.
Coming home after one of the greatest months of my life to spend some much needed downtime with the awesome family the Lord has blessed me with.
Spending a week on vacation with my family in Virginia and Washington D.C.
 Starting off a great new season of Five Star at a different school in the fall! Loving getting to know my girls at Discovery.
Getting glasses to improve my driving abilites. It's the little things in life :)
Being reminded again on Thanksgiving of all the Lord has blessed me with.

 Forming new friendships!
 Getting imprisoned....gotcha. Or did I?
Learning how to salsa dance!

Watching my younger siblings grow up.

Witnessing the beautiful wedding of two of the most incredible people I know, Seth and Sarah Bible, alongside my best friends.

Marveling at the Lord's creation.





Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Quirks of Cassie

You know those things you do that you think nothing of but drive everyone else absolutely crazy? Yeah, they're called quirks. And I just so happen to have several thousand of them. Lucky me (sarcasm). Call me insane (probably another one of my quirks), but I'm going to share a few of them with you. That way we don't all feel alone in our "quirkiness". Holla back? Amen.

Just a disclaimer though: You may be inclined to end our friendship after reading these...



- I brush my teeth when I'm bored. "Hmm...I don't know what to do...I think I'll go brush my teeth." Yeah, it goes something like that. The record is somewhere around ten times a day. Yes, TEN. Judge all you like, it's not gonna change.

- I thrive on procrastination. Literally, THRIVE on it. I know, horrible habit. But I feel like I can't get things done until I wait until the last minute and am under extreme pressure. When I'm under pressure, the rock-star-creative-intelligent-genius-Cassie comes out to get the job done.

- I make up words on the fly. Especially if I'm tired. Watch out.

- I hate this one: I'm a horrible listener. I ask someone a question, and sometimes I don't even listen to the answer! Then they walk away, and I ask myself, "snap! what did they even say?!?!". It's bad, folks. I apologize to those who have personally experienced this quirk of mine.

- I cry a lot. I've been called a "drama queen" more times than I can count. Wooop dee doooo.

- I have a secret obsession with COFFEE. Ok, maybe it's not secret. But it's an obsession. Thing is, it takes me, on average, about two hours to finish a cup of coffee. TWO FLIPPIN HOURS.

- I bought a full out WOOL sweater when I was in 110 degree weather in Mexico. What's up with that? My shopping habits = RIDICULOUS. When I want something, I don't have money. When I have money, I'm a frugal genius that refuses to spend it on anything. And what girl can testify to this: the mall only has cute clothes when we don't have money. Don't even get me started on that one.

- I am the biggest PEOPLE PERSON. I hate being by myself. <------- That's NOT a good thing, folks. Especially if I'm having a bad day, that's when it's worst. I've been known to call my sister in to my room for the sole purpose of having another body in the room for comfort. She doesn't have to talk, nor do I want her to. She just has to be there. I hate being by myself when I want to cry. This can be a major hindrance in my spiritual walk at times..

- Don'tevengetmestartedononewordtexts.Thesehavethepotentialtomakeorbreakourfriendship.Nuffsaid.

- Don't even dare turn on Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Thank you and goodnight! I hate when people start Christmas in July! Yes, I've also been called the grinch on several occasions.

- I cannot wear nice clothes around the house. No way. Not happenin. If I get in to "nice" clothes (and by nice, I mean jeans and a cute shirt) to go out, the first thing I do when I come home is slip right back in to shorts and a t-shirt. Or if it's winter, big sweatpants and a sweatshirt three sizes too big.

- When I drive, I sit as close to the steering wheel as possible. Eyyy, if I ever get in a wreck, that air bag is going to kick the living daylights out of me.

- Night lights? Check NO THANKS. I can't sleep if there is one SLIVER of light in my room! Blinds shut. Door closed (sometimes with a blanket shoved under the crack of space that lets in light at the bottom of the door). And a blanket over that obnoxious green light that from the clock. I sometimes even wish I could find a way to cover the red light on the smoke detector on my ceiling. GEESH! Who is going to want to live with me someday!?

- PUH- LEASE. Do NOT use "text language" when texting me. I h8 when ppl feel the need 2 txt like this. C'mon ppl. Don't talk like this or we will no longer b BFFL's. Thnx.

- I have the attention span of a six year old. Or you could say that I have A.D.D. Call it what you want. Hey, is that a squirrel? (bah haha haha..good joke?....ok, no).

There's plenty more. I just don't want to freak you all out too much at once. And besides, isn't that enough for you to believe me when I say that I am WEIRD?! Or did you already know that?

I love being reminded though, that no matter how many quirks and failures and flaws I may have, I have a God who is bigger and greater than all of them. He wants to use me, DESPITE all my flaws and quirks. Even though I may be a drama queen chatter box grinchy grinch coffee obsessor, He's asking me to play a part in His story. I am honored.

You know what else? Despite all these things I hate about myself, He calls me beautiful and wonderfully made. Dang.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" Psalm 139:14

Monday, December 27, 2010

Flashback Two Years

It's winter break...this, for me, means EAT and SLEEP, then repeat. And repeat again, and again, and again. It's an exciting pattern, folks. On this particular morning, I slept longer than normal and then dragged my lazy self up the stairs to go pour a bowl of Froot Loops (which I again ask myself why I chose these because they never fail to make me feel queasy). Anyhow, as I ate my breakfast, I took a trip down memory lane, looking through some old pictures. This memory lane's address happened to be Summer 2008- also known as the summer that I describe as the summer I had a heart transplant the Holy Spirit wrecked my life.

Okay, in all seriousness- the Lord got ahold of me in a dramatic way in the summer of 2008. And I thank Him almost every day for it. I can't imagine what I would be like now if I didn't have that little "intervention" in the summer of '08. Whew...I don't even want to think about the person I would be. PUKE.

My will was changed for His. My heart broke for what breaks His. He gave me a new hunger and a new passion for His word and His kingdom. It all happened at Camp Adventure, the week that I served on the cleaning/helping crew alongside my best friend. It's a long story, but as I was looking through these pictures of the week that it all changed, it brought back some great memories and I again thanked God for what He did in my heart two years ago.


ironically enough, the cleaning crew probably had the messiest room..