Cassie Hallam

The Battle is Won

2011-11-13T10:18:00.001-06:00

The casualties of war can be catastrophic and tragic. Wounds are inevitable. Memories can be painful. Loss is horrific and deserves mourning. But victory is sweet. Victory makes every moment of pain, strife, and doubt worth it all.

Whether we choose to believe it or not, there is a war being waged right within our midst daily. The war often goes unseen, except to the select few to whom the veil has been lifted and for a moment are given the gift to receive a glimpse of the battle for our hearts. Right in front of our blinded eyes is a gruesome and bloody war is being fought for each and every one of our hearts. Kingdoms are clashing. The powers of the dark are trying their best to devour the unparalleled and preeminent powers of the light. The dark is seeking to distinguish any source of light within each of our lives and assault our hearts by distracting us from the divine and marvelous light of the Lord Jesus Christ.

One of the places where I can see and feel this battle so tangibly is when I go out with my team on Friday nights and partner with the forces of the light, and tap into the Lord’s strength and take up His armor, to battle against the darkness that has captivated the girls we minister to on the streets. The Lord’s love for them is furious. The Lord’s love for each of us is furious. But God is livid at the pain and suffering that His precious daughters in Atlanta are facing and have faced the majority of their lives. God hates seeing them be abused every day.

As I’m writing this, I am realizing the irony of the date of this truth that I am learning. It’s Veterans Day. And here I am, learning the truths of what the war for our hearts looks like. A sad fact that I’m struck with is the fact that many veterans after serving in war come home never to be the same again. The images they have seen, the losses of lives they have seen is catastrophic and leaves imprints of their minds that unfortunately send a lot of them to insanity.

Though we are not physically fighting, we see horrific things. A girl that my team has been ministering to for years was murdered just several weeks ago. We have found girls lying on the streets weeping after just being raped. We have heard stories that no one should ever have to hear, let alone experience. The casualties of this war for our hearts can be catastrophic and tragic as well. And if we’re not careful, we could begin to lose our sanity as well as our purity of mind if we are not careful to dwell on the good that is being done and the grace of Jesus Christ.

We must be so careful and intentional to dwell on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable” (Philippians 4:8) rather than allowing ourselves to be overwhelmed by the despairing and troubling things we see or hear. Because through Christ Jesus’ death and resurrection, the battle is already won. We already hold the keys to victory; so there is much to celebrate and much good to dwell on.

So tonight instead of bogging us all down with the burdensome stories that Satan and sin has destructively played into, I want to proclaim and rejoice in the victories that the Lord has brought forth in our relationships with the girls on the streets. Because so often I find myself disheartened and frustrated because I so easily become overwhelmed by the destruction and havoc that Satan is wreaking rather than being overwhelmed by the LIGHT, and all of the goodness that the Lord is cultivating in this community! That’s just who Satan is. He wants me to be impressed by his evil schemes. He wants me to be taken aback by the abominable affairs that he is originating so that I wonder where the power of the light is.

So here I am tonight, declaring that the battle is won. The victory is in the hands of Jesus Christ. And even if I never see another girl surrender her life to the Lord and be rescued from the dark, I can rest in the fact that Jesus has already won. Even when the battle looks hopeless and as a lost cause, I can say “NO” deep within my soul and know within my heart that Jesus holds the final victory.

But the beauty of this journal entry is this: there still is good being done! The name of Jesus alone is still doing miracles- even in a place where darkness is so thick and so worshipped, the name of Jesus still pierces hearts.

FOUR girls have recently decided to quit the prostitution business and pursue their dreams for a real job and family. THREE of those four have already surrendered their lives to the Lord and committed all of their days to Him. I have seen THREE healings miraculously take place through the name of Jesus in the past month. A lady that has mocked us for the past several years every time we visit her has recently opened up, broken down in tears, and called on the name of the Lord for help. Our team has gained favor at THREE additional strip clubs- permission to enter without a fee to give gifts to the working girls and tell them about our beautiful Jesus. These are just a few of the MANY victories I have witnessed recently.

The Lord is still working. He is still battling violently and aggressively for the hearts and souls of His precious daughters. And because of that, Satan is angry. Satan is furious. The enemy knows that nothing that he plots or schemes can ever stand up against the deep and passionate love the Lord has for each and every one of His sons and daughters. And that, my friends, is why we rejoice tonight.

.

The Power in the Name of JESUS

2011-10-08T15:36:00.002-05:00

As I sit here trying to type out and process my thoughts from last night, I’m left completely dumbfounded; sitting and staring at a completely blank page with nothing but a blinking cursor bar staring straight back at me, reminding me of the depth of my complete loss for words at all that the Lord revealed to me last night. Imagining all the different ways I could express and proclaim what God showed me, I quickly drift off into a world of my own, and wish that I could somehow extract all the images stored in my head from last night and document them into video form to share for the entire world to see. Because if the world could see what I saw last night, the world would be different. The world would be in awe. The world would be in shock. The world would fall on their knees in adoration of a Holy God who is worthy of all of our praises.

Partnering with this ministry, NightLight, has been such a double-edged sword. It is one of the most painful things I’ve ever done, but also one of the most fulfilling. It’s extremely discouraging, but I’ve never been more hopeful. It’s dangerously dark, but I’ve never experienced the power of the light quite as strongly as I have this past month. These streets are a place where Satan is worshipped and in control, but just the name of Jesus still turns heads and moves hearts. I’ve never experienced a place under such oppression and chains and slavery, but I’ve also never seen the freedom of the Lord move so swiftly and boldly through individual’s hearts and lives. Chains are being broken. Heaviness is being lifted. Hearts are being restored. Because Jesus has promised, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” And we are taking Him up on that promise, having full faith that He will restore and give rest to the hearts of His precious daughters in Atlanta.

Combating against the dark and evil forces of the sex industry is difficult and heavy, often even physically exhausting, but the Lord’s light shines brighter and speaks louder than any lie that Satan has spoken. Last night, my team and I did a prayer walk throughout one of the hotels where a lot of the mainstream prostitution takes place. We walked through all of the halls on every floor and proclaimed life and freedom through the Lord. However, I was in no way prepared for the heaviness of the atmosphere in this place. I was completely overtaken by the presence of the demonic forces to the point where I couldn’t breathe. I felt as though my heart was being clenched and my throat was closing. I could do nothing but cry and proclaim the very powerful name of Jesus. “Jesus” was all that I could get out of my mouth. “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!” But I can’t even begin to tell you the power in that prayer. The name of Jesus does wonders! It was as if every time I said “Jesus”, the death grip on my heart was loosened and one by one, weeds of Satan’s lies were being killed and torn back so that more light could shine through. My Jesus reigns! No matter how much control the enemy has, the power of the name of Jesus is never diminished. Every time I cried out “Jesus”, I could literally feel chains start to fall away and heaviness start to float away. Because where the Spirit of the Lord is, freedom reigns!

After our prayer walk through the hotel, we went to the site where one of the girls we had built a relationship with on the streets had been murdered just several days before I moved down here to Atlanta. We stood on the very ground where she was murdered and proclaimed life and repented for the sins of our generation. We repented for the sins of murder, idolatry, witchcraft, and sexual immorality that have taken over the people of this area. We then felt lead to worship the Lord, right there, on those grounds. So that’s exactly what we did. As we worshipped the Lord and sang out to Him though, I saw an angel. I wasn’t the only one. Two other girls on our team witnessed this angel as well. As our group stood in a circle and worshipped and sang, I looked up and about 50 feet away, I saw a bright shining person dancing and worshipping on the street next to us. At first thought, I thought maybe one of the members of our team had wondered over there to worship, but as I looked around at our group and noticed that every single one of our team members was standing right there with me, I was taken back by the realization that an angel was there in our presence, worshipping God right alongside us, claiming life over this dead area. Trusting that God makes ALL things new, and knowing that He wants to bring beauty and restoration to this area.

God is doing big things. These are only a few of the events from last night, but I felt lead to share them with you, my friends. Because once you see these things, and witness the Lord in all of His majesty and power in this way, everything else in life becomes so trivial and silly. I am so thankful and greatly blessed that the Lord has revealed Himself to me in this way. I am the last person who deserves to see Him and His goodness, but His grace is being poured out and dumped out on me in more ways than one and I can’t help but want to share it with you all. Please continue to keep my team and I in your prayers.

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice

and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free

and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry

and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—

when you see the naked, to clothe them,

and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousness[a] will go before you,

and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;

you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. “

-Isaiah 58:6-9

I Don't Ever Want to Get Used to This

2011-09-24T14:15:00.000-05:00

Last night marked my first night going downtown to work with NightLight. We went downtown at about 10:30 PM while the night was still young and stayed out until 3 AM, ministering and praying for the young women on the streets caught in the vicious cycle and stronghold of sexual trafficking and exploitation.

As I sit here nearly twelve hours later, I am still processing and almost sitting in unbelief of the things that I saw last night. It's one thing to hear about these things and maybe even see documentaries of the sex trafficking industry on the television, but it's a whole different ball game when you are standing literally two feet next to a woman while she makes a deal with a man and climbs into his truck to sell her body in desperate hopes that she'll make enough money to please her pimp and make it through the next couple days. The feeling that I felt in my stomach is simply indescribable. I could say that it felt like I was punched straight in the gut, but it was deeper than that. I could say that it felt like my heart dropped into my stomach, but it was worse than that. I could say that I felt like in that moment I had lost all ability to see or hear anything else around me, but it was far more tragic than that.

For a moment, I believe that the Lord revealed to me just the slightest amount of love He has for this young lady. And for a moment, I didn't see just "another" girl climbing into a truck with a man to do her "dirty deed". I saw a desperate young lady, broken and shattered on the inside, trying to find her way in this world. And for a moment, the Lord delivered me from my hostility and anger towards the man who "purchased" this lady for such a low price and saw just another lonely and deeply broken man, searching for intimacy in all of the wrong places and resorting to such cheap forms of love. Because all in all, we're all the same- just searching for love and truth.

As I witnessed this deal go down though, I couldn't help but cry out to the Lord, "I DON'T EVER WANT TO GET USED TO THIS!" I will be doing this sort of ministry every Friday night for an indefinite amount of time, but I never ever want to get used to this. I never want to get to the point where I see a deal like this go down, and I don't feel something going on inside of me. While I was praying this, I heard the Lord tell me:

"I never get used to this. You come once a week. I'm here every day. Every hour. Every minute. Every second. I never get used to this. I never accept this. I am not pleased with this. These are my precious daughters. I see the pain, I hear the lies that Satan tells them every day and my heart is broken for them. I CRY FOR THEM. These are my precious daughters that I was nailed to a cross to and shed blood for. I never get used to this."

So now here I am, feeling completely inadequate to portray Christ's love to these girls. But in my weakness, He is strong. I realize that no matter how hard I try to imitate God's love to them, my love for them will always pale in comparison to the Lord's deep love and jealousy for them. Fighting against the sex trafficking and exploitation industry is a very discouraging work because it often feels so hopeless, but I will press on with the perseverance and patience that the Lord demonstrated on me when saving me probably felt hopeless and like a lost cause. He didn't give up on me, and I will not give up on them.

The Conspiracy: A Story of a Young Cambodian Lady Tricked into the Trap of Human Trafficking

2011-09-20T00:12:00.000-05:00

Along with interning with NightLight comes the expectation and responsibility of diligent research on the topic of sex trafficking so that we as a team know how to speak intelligently on the issue and convey to others the deep need for justice and vindication.

I recently started reading the book, Not For Sale by David Batstone. Many of you have asked me how young girls get caught in the trap of trafficking and prostitution, and this is just one story and example from a young lady in Cambodia who was tricked into selling her body. As you read this though, I suggest that you take caution and guard your heart. The issue of human trafficking is nothing light and fluffy, rather heavy on the heart and often very discouraging. I wanted to share this story with you though, so that you can better understand the industry that my team and I will be fighting against through the wisdom, strength, and guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Also as you read this, understand that I have the opportunity to serve overseas with this ministry, NightLight, at their base in Thailand and I am in need of counsel and guidance from the Lord on whether or not an internship in Thailand would be something I should pursue or not. So please pray that the Lord will make that clear to me in the next several months ahead!

Here is the story of Srey Neang:

Srey Neang did not go on excursions beyond the occasional outing with Sovanna. She had no friends- she celebrated her fifteenth birthday alone tending the shop. Work was her life.

So when Tevy asked Srey Neang to accompany her on a trip to the ancient Buddhist temple of Angkor Wat, she practically fell speechless. Tevy lived down the street and was a close friend to Sovanna's wife, Ly, which made the invitation all the more unexpected. Because Ly had spoiled her reputation in the neighborhood, Srey Neang had resigned herself to being a social leper. Miraculously, both Sovanna's mother and Ly gave her leave to go on the trip. During the three years she had lived at their home, Srey Neang had never even a single day off.

Tevy borrowed a car for the journey. As soon as they had left Phnom Penh, Srey Neang lost her bearings. She had heard the name Angkor Wat on the lips of tourists to whom she sold cakes in the city plaza. But it could be located on the moon for all she knew.

After a long morning on the highway, a sign welcomed them to the town of Siem Reap. Tevy suddenly announced, "My cousin lives here, and I promised him that I would drop in and say hello". A few minutes later, she pulled over to park in front of a karaoke club.

They jumped out of the car and walked to a set of stairs attached to the side of the club. Tevy's "cousin" awaited them on the top landing. He introduced himself as Chuan and offered both his visitors a cold drink. After a few minutes of small talk, he ushered Tevy into an adjoining room and shut the door. Srey Neang awkwardly sat alone in the living room.

Nearly half an hour passed before the two reemerged. Tevy did not hesitate to drop a bombshell: "I've run out of cash. Before we go on to Angkor Wat, I need to pick up some money. You stay here with my cousin, and I'll come back and pick you up later."

The words packed a punch to Strey Neang's stomach. She could not identify the precise story line, but she sensed danger. "Oh, please let me go with you," she begged Tevy. "I won't be any trouble."

"No," Tevy snapped, "you'll just get in the way."

Tevy then walked swiftly to the door and down the stairs to her car. Srey Neang stood motionless for a few seconds before breaking into a convulsion of sobs.

"Oh, come on now, what are you worried about?" she heard Chuan's voice behind her. Srey Neang turned and saw his outstretched hand holding a tissue. "You'll have lots of fun here," he said.

Srey Neang did not respond, but cried quietly into the now-drenched tissue.

"Hey, why don't we go out to a nice restaraunt and celebrate your arrival in Siem Reap?" Chuan suggested. "I guarantee that you'll love the food."

Chuan raised his hand as if to say, "Wait here for a moment," and scurried off to the adjoining room. A few moments later he returned holding a beautiful black dress and matching shoes.

"These should cheer you up," he said enthusiastically. "We are going to a very nice restaraunt, the best in town, and you have to look like you belong there."

Srey Neang never imagined herself in such an elegant dress. Her wardrobe consisted of a skirt, two shirts, and a single pair of pants, all of which had turned threadbare from regular use. Perhaps, she thought, it was a stroke of luck that Tevy had left her with Chuan.

Nor had Srey Neang dined at a restaraunt where servesrs wait on customers. During the meal, Chuan asked her lots of questions about herself. Yes, she was fifteen years old. No, she did not live with her parents. She did not allow the small talk to interfere with the enjoyment of her meal.

The dinner over, they strolled back to the karaoke bar. "Let's go inside the club," Chuan said upon their arrival. "I want you to meet a couple of my friends."

Srey Neang followed him through the entrance. At first her eyes had trouble adjusting to the darkness of the room. Slowly, she could make out the scene. At nearly every table a middle-aged man enjoyed the company of two or more young women who casually draped their bodies around him.

Chuan led her through the club, occasionally pausing to give a brief greeting to a male patron. once they reached a staircase at the back of the club, he pointed upward with his index finger. Srey Neang went first. At the top of the stairs they reached a small hallway with three doors, all shut. She turned around to get further instructions. Chuan jerked his head deliberately to the right, indicating which door she was to open.

Srey Neang turned the knob and tentatively pushed forward. It startled her to see a man standing in the middle of the room as if he were anticipating her arrival. She heard the sound of the door click shut behind her. She did not need to turn her head to know that Chuan had not entered the room with her.

The room did not hold much furniture, save a bed and a small nightstand. The man, in his mid-thirties, appeared to be a Cambodian. He uttered a simple, shocking command in the local dialect: "Take off your clothes".

Srey Neang reeled backward toward the door. "I'm sorry," she said, trying her best to keep a steady voice. "You must be confusing me with someone else."

"No, I'm not mistaken," he replied. "I paid good money for you." He then held out the palms of his hands, whispering, "Now be a good girl, and show me what you've got under that dress."

Srey Neang spun around and flew out the door in retreat. Chuan, however, was waiting for her on the other side of the door. He wrapped his arms around her torso and squeezed her in a strong bear hug. Srey Neang struggled with all her might but could not break free.

"Let go of me, you brute!" she screamed.

"You aren't going anywhere until you pay back what you owe me!" Chuan yelled as he dragged her toward the room.

"What do you mean, 'what I owe you'?" she asked incredulously. "You never gave me any money!"

"Oh, yeah, how about your dinner tonight?" he said. "You also owe me for those clothes you're wearing. And I gave $150 to that woman who brought you here this afternoon."

Once he finished listing her debts, Chuan shoved her toward the man, saying, "Now unless you have some other way of paying me, get to work!"

"Tevy had no right to sell me!" Srey Neang protested in red rage. "I've never had anything to do with that witch until she tricked me into coming on this trip."

Chuan could not have shown any less interest in fairness. Ignoring her plea, he changed tactics: "You aren't fooling me with your fake innocence. I know you're already used goods."

"What do you take me for?" asked Srey Neang. "I'm still a virgin!"

"That's not the story I got," Chuan said as he chuckled. "Young girls should not be screwing around with other women's husbands."

In a flash, the veil fell from Srey Neang's eyes. So here was her punishment for being a close friend to Sovanna. She had fallen for an intricate conspiracy. The air went out of her rebellion.

Chuan, sensing his victory, offered encouragement: "Hey, don't worry. After a few times, it's not hard. You'll get used to it."

By night's end, four adult men had raped Srey Neang. The nights to follow never got better.

2010- a year for the books

2010-12-29T09:34:00.001-06:00

Well, another year has come and gone. The end of the year always has a way of sneaking up without me realizing it. As I meditate upon what the year 2010 has brought to me, and even taken away from me, I can't help but sit and be utterly dumbfounded at just how faithful and loving our Lord is. He is so good. All the time. When I contemplate all that the Lord did for me in 2010, I can rest assured that He will again be faithful in 2011. No matter what circumstances and situations that 2011 may bring, He is good and above it all.

2011 was a year full of trials and rejoicings, tears and laughter, blessings and pruning. I was blessed far more than I deserve. The Lord was faithful to grow me and teach me in every moment. Even in those sticky, irritating, and dreadful circumstances, I pushed through because I knew the promise of James 1:2-4. Through our trials and hard times, the Lord is growing us to become more like Him, which is the ultimate goal! So if the trials and heartaches are what it takes to slowly but surely become more like Jesus, I say "bring it on".

"He gives and takes away. He gives and takes away. But my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name."

My biggest lessons of 2010 consisted of learning:

-that not all relationships are beneficial. End them gracefully before they end in a train wreck.

-you DON'T want things to go the way YOU planned. No, no, no.

- God KNOWS your future plans. He's not trying to hide them from you. Just be still and wait on His perfect timing.

-people will let you down. The Lord never will though.

-I am capable of so much more when I take my focus off of what I can do and humble myself to nothing, knowing that the LORD is the power and strength behind all my abilities.

Don't mistake me though. 2010 was certainly not all trials and sufferings, not even close! Like I said, I was blessed far more than I deserve. 2010 was a year of growing friendships, new adventures, exciting new steps, and much of worshiping and praising God.

Here are some of my top highlights from 2010:

Helping my best friends get ready for Snowball 2010.

Entering another great season of Five Star and watching one of my students, Kirstan (above) win the Student of the Year Award. So proud of her.

Forming an even closer friendship with my best friend, Heather Stevens. Spending countless and endless nights just being silly, giving honest and godly opinions and advice, picking each other up when the other is down, and just looking out for each other :)

Spending my 17th birthday with my Five Star students.


Dying my hair blonde...... ;)

Spending a month of my summer serving the beautiful orphans of Monterrey, Mexico. <3


Forming lifelong friends while in Mexico through inseparable bonds of serving the Lord together through every high and low.

Having God rock my world in a way completely unexpected while in Mexico. His promises stand even when I doubt.

Seeing the magnificent power and mercy of God through one of the most terrifying events of my life, Hurricane Alex.

Being broken again for the children in poverty and without parents in Monterrey, Mexico.

Coming home after one of the greatest months of my life to spend some much needed downtime with the awesome family the Lord has blessed me with.

Spending a week on vacation with my family in Virginia and Washington D.C.

Starting off a great new season of Five Star at a different school in the fall! Loving getting to know my girls at Discovery.

Getting glasses to improve my driving abilites. It's the little things in life :)

Being reminded again on Thanksgiving of all the Lord has blessed me with.

Forming new friendships!

Getting imprisoned....gotcha. Or did I?

Learning how to salsa dance!

Watching my younger siblings grow up.

Witnessing the beautiful wedding of two of the most incredible people I know, Seth and Sarah Bible, alongside my best friends.

Marveling at the Lord's creation.

The Quirks of Cassie

2010-12-28T09:00:00.053-06:00

You know those things you do that you think nothing of but drive everyone else absolutely crazy? Yeah, they're called quirks. And I just so happen to have several thousand of them. Lucky me (sarcasm). Call me insane (probably another one of my quirks), but I'm going to share a few of them with you. That way we don't all feel alone in our "quirkiness". Holla back? Amen.

Just a disclaimer though: You may be inclined to end our friendship after reading these...

- I brush my teeth when I'm bored. "Hmm...I don't know what to do...I think I'll go brush my teeth." Yeah, it goes something like that. The record is somewhere around ten times a day. Yes, TEN. Judge all you like, it's not gonna change.

- I thrive on procrastination. Literally, THRIVE on it. I know, horrible habit. But I feel like I can't get things done until I wait until the last minute and am under extreme pressure. When I'm under pressure, the rock-star-creative-intelligent-genius-Cassie comes out to get the job done.

- I make up words on the fly. Especially if I'm tired. Watch out.

- I hate this one: I'm a horrible listener. I ask someone a question, and sometimes I don't even listen to the answer! Then they walk away, and I ask myself, "snap! what did they even say?!?!". It's bad, folks. I apologize to those who have personally experienced this quirk of mine.

- I cry a lot. I've been called a "drama queen" more times than I can count. Wooop dee doooo.

- I have a secret obsession with COFFEE. Ok, maybe it's not secret. But it's an obsession. Thing is, it takes me, on average, about two hours to finish a cup of coffee. TWO FLIPPIN HOURS.

- I bought a full out WOOL sweater when I was in 110 degree weather in Mexico. What's up with that? My shopping habits = RIDICULOUS. When I want something, I don't have money. When I have money, I'm a frugal genius that refuses to spend it on anything. And what girl can testify to this: the mall only has cute clothes when we don't have money. Don't even get me started on that one.

- I am the biggest PEOPLE PERSON. I hate being by myself. <------- That's NOT a good thing, folks. Especially if I'm having a bad day, that's when it's worst. I've been known to call my sister in to my room for the sole purpose of having another body in the room for comfort. She doesn't have to talk, nor do I want her to. She just has to be there. I hate being by myself when I want to cry. This can be a major hindrance in my spiritual walk at times..

- Don'tevengetmestartedononewordtexts.Thesehavethepotentialtomakeorbreakourfriendship.Nuffsaid.

- Don't even dare turn on Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Thank you and goodnight! I hate when people start Christmas in July! Yes, I've also been called the grinch on several occasions.

- I cannot wear nice clothes around the house. No way. Not happenin. If I get in to "nice" clothes (and by nice, I mean jeans and a cute shirt) to go out, the first thing I do when I come home is slip right back in to shorts and a t-shirt. Or if it's winter, big sweatpants and a sweatshirt three sizes too big.

- When I drive, I sit as close to the steering wheel as possible. Eyyy, if I ever get in a wreck, that air bag is going to kick the living daylights out of me.

- Night lights? Check NO THANKS. I can't sleep if there is one SLIVER of light in my room! Blinds shut. Door closed (sometimes with a blanket shoved under the crack of space that lets in light at the bottom of the door). And a blanket over that obnoxious green light that from the clock. I sometimes even wish I could find a way to cover the red light on the smoke detector on my ceiling. GEESH! Who is going to want to live with me someday!?

- PUH- LEASE. Do NOT use "text language" when texting me. I h8 when ppl feel the need 2 txt like this. C'mon ppl. Don't talk like this or we will no longer b BFFL's. Thnx.

- I have the attention span of a six year old. Or you could say that I have A.D.D. Call it what you want. Hey, is that a squirrel? (bah haha haha..good joke?....ok, no).

There's plenty more. I just don't want to freak you all out too much at once. And besides, isn't that enough for you to believe me when I say that I am WEIRD?! Or did you already know that?

I love being reminded though, that no matter how many quirks and failures and flaws I may have, I have a God who is bigger and greater than all of them. He wants to use me, DESPITE all my flaws and quirks. Even though I may be a drama queen chatter box grinchy grinch coffee obsessor, He's asking me to play a part in His story. I am honored.

You know what else? Despite all these things I hate about myself, He calls me beautiful and wonderfully made. Dang.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" Psalm 139:14

Flashback Two Years

2010-12-27T10:42:00.001-06:00

It's winter break...this, for me, means EAT and SLEEP, then repeat. And repeat again, and again, and again. It's an exciting pattern, folks. On this particular morning, I slept longer than normal and then dragged my lazy self up the stairs to go pour a bowl of Froot Loops (which I again ask myself why I chose these because they never fail to make me feel queasy). Anyhow, as I ate my breakfast, I took a trip down memory lane, looking through some old pictures. This memory lane's address happened to be Summer 2008- also known as the summer that I describe as the summer ~~I had a heart transplant~~ the Holy Spirit wrecked my life.

Okay, in all seriousness- the Lord got ahold of me in a dramatic way in the summer of 2008. And I thank Him almost every day for it. I can't imagine what I would be like now if I didn't have that little "intervention" in the summer of '08. Whew...I don't even want to think about the person I would be. PUKE.

My will was changed for His. My heart broke for what breaks His. He gave me a new hunger and a new passion for His word and His kingdom. It all happened at Camp Adventure, the week that I served on the cleaning/helping crew alongside my best friend. It's a long story, but as I was looking through these pictures of the week that it all changed, it brought back some great memories and I again thanked God for what He did in my heart two years ago.

ironically enough, the cleaning crew probably had the messiest room..

This Christmas

2010-12-25T08:33:00.001-06:00

Father of the fatherless, be with your sons and daughters this Christmas. Father, let us not forget the children who are all alone this Christmas.

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.” –James 1:27

Good Day

2010-12-23T19:32:00.001-06:00

For anybody that knows anything about me, you know that it's true that it's a really good day for me when I get a new pair of long, fun, decorative socks. It's the little things in life that get me goin'. Thanks Maw Maw! Brownie points to you.

2010-12-22T22:06:00.000-06:00

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

–Howard Thurman

LET IT GO!

2010-12-22T20:14:00.001-06:00

Confession time: I've been holding on to something for far too long. No, not just simply "holding on", but the selfish, nasty, clinging-type-of-holding-on. My fists have been clenched around it tightly for a solid eight months. So tightly that if one could physically see how tightly I've been holding on to it, they would see that my knuckles are turning white from the grip I thought I had on it.

I've never been one to hold on to things like this. Especially once I realize that the circumstances are far out of my control. I don't know what it is that made me become so controlling over this certain thing. It's pathetic, even embarrassing how I've depended on this thing and even let it control my moods.

Well, I'm publicly declaring this because today is the day that I offer it up to the Lord. Today is the day that I pry open my clenched fists and lay it out in the open before Abba. Obviously I can only do this by the Lord's strength. So I ask that you pray for me.

I've also strategized somewhat of a game plan (we'll see how this goes). Every time that I am tempted to regain control with this "thing", every time that I am tempted to pull it back in to my grips and clench my weak fist around it, I will go to my stack of notecards that I recently made. On these notecards, I wrote down as many of the names of God that I could think of and their definitions and just how they apply to me. I will read through these and remind myself, for example, that my God is Jehovah-Nissi. The Lord is my banner. He will fight for me.

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." -Exodus 14:14

Or...God is ALL SUFFICIENT. He is all I need. I don't need this thing I've been holding on to. I find my worth and value in Christ alone.

I came across this the other day by Henri Nouwen:

"Dear God,
I am so afraid to open my clenched fists!
Who will I be when I have nothing left to hold on to?
Who will I be when I stand before you with empty hands?
Please help me to gradually open my hands
and to discover that I am not what I own,
but what you want to give me.
And what you want to give me is love,
unconditional, everlasting love.
Amen."
-Henri Nouwen

He is all I need. He is all I will ever need. Once I truly begin to believe this in my heart, it will become much easier to let go. So here's to a start of a long process...I'm letting go and trusting in something greater.

When They Grow Up by Caroline (Back2Back staff)

2010-11-19T13:37:00.000-06:00

The other day I was talking with an older teenage boy at Casa Hogar Douglas about what he wanted to be when he grew up. I said, "well one day you could go to high school and then on to college and study something. You could be part of the Hope Program and live at Back2Back. What would you like to be when you go up?" He said really honestly, "well you see it's hard. I'm the oldest of my siblings here. And I have this aunt."

At this point, my heart sank and I knew what he was about to say. He was about to say that this distant family member who won't even visit him at the children's home, doesn't pick him up for holidays, or anything of that nature - is going to invite him to live with her as soon as he is old enough to work and help her out. That's exactly what he proceeded to describe. He is one of the few who never leaves the home, never has a visitor, and is a "double orphan" - as in both mom and dad are dead.

He said that his aunt told him that as soon as he finished junior high school, he could live with her and work with her and help the family. He just kept saying, "it's hard Caroline." I've heard this before. And I said, "You know, you have options here. You are the one that is in control. The control is yours. I think you should talk to some of the boys that are already in our Hope Program and who are studying to get great jobs. A lot of them had the same hard decision to make when they were your age. Their aunt or uncle said that they could come live with them and work instead of go to college but they chose to go to college and now have way better jobs and now can help out their family financially so much more because they went to high school and college."

It was as if he had never, ever thought of that option. Pray for him (name will be kept hidden for his privacy - these sweet children have little privacy - sorry) and for all the children we serve who are like him and have tough decisions to make that will forever affect their futures. Pray that seemingly selfish family members wouldn't try to take advantage of them in their desperation.

There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

2010-11-12T17:22:00.000-06:00

Long story short- it's been a very difficult week for me. Actually, I might even have to say it's been the hardest week I may have ever endured. (On that note though, I can count my blessings because I realize just how easy my "hard" week probably looks to a lot of others.) I came across this poem by Amy Carmichael on the internet though, and was deeply comforted. Our God knows what's best for us. He makes ALL things work together for our good. Though there may be pain in the night, JOY COMES IN THE MORNING. This pain and struggle that I'm fighting is trivial in comparison to the plans the Lord has for me to come.

Our Father knows what's best for us, so why should we complain?
We always want the sunshine, but he knows there must be rain.
We love the sound of laughter and the merriment of cheer,
But our hearts would lose their tenderness if we never shed a tear.
For growing trees are strengthened when they withstand the storm,
And the sharp cut of the chisel gives the diamond grace and form.
God never hurts us needlessly, and he never wastes our pain,
For every loss he sends to us is followed by rich gain.
And when we count the blessings that God so freely sent,
We'll find no cause for murmuring, and no time to lament.
For our Father loves his children, and to him all things are plain,
So he never sends us pleasure when the soul's deep need is pain.
So whenever we are troubled, and when everything goes wrong,
We know God's working in our hearts, to make our spirit strong.

-Amy Carmichael

A Personal Narrative

2010-10-19T19:39:00.000-05:00

I'm taking a college level course at Bethel. The class is written communications and my teacher asked us to write a personal narrative and describe a certain moment or situation that describes best who you are. Immediately I thought to write about my time in Mexico. For any curious minds, here it is :)

Today is my first Father’s Day away from home. As I’m away from my father on this Father’s Day though, it just so happens that the place I am living in is quite literally the land of the fatherLESS. My journey to this land began about a year ago on a night that I won’t soon forget. It was the night that God broke my heart for what breaks His. I am now broken for the orphan child, called to pursue them on behalf of Jesus Christ; called to be Christ’s hands in maintaining their cause, meeting their needs, and rescuing them...until His Kingdom come.
            It all started during the summer of 2009. I was on a week long mission trip with my church in Monterrey, Mexico. It was a Sunday, and it was our first day going to one of the orphanages. It was a sunny and humid day, during Mexico’s hottest month. As sweat was dripping down my face, I stepped off of the bus and on to the orphanage’s ground. I then looked up to see a beautiful eleven year old girl smiling so big you’d think she had been waiting her entire life for ME to come and visit her. I tried so hard to remember all the spanish that I had been learning for two years in a classroom back in the States, but all that could come out of my mouth in that moment was, “Hola! Me llamo es Cassie!” (Hi, my name is Cassie). She smiled back, wrapped her arms around me, and said, “Me llamo Ady!”. Words were simply overrated thoughout that week. My spanish was lousy, and she knew no english, so we communicated only through laughter and smiles.
            By the end of the week, I knew exactly why God had sent me to Mexico with my church. He wanted to use ME to be a friend to Ady and show her Christ’s undying love for her. The entire week, I could feel the Holy Spirit pursuing her through me, because when my strength and energy was gone, I still wanted to love on Ady and give her nothing but my all. So you can imagine how difficult it was to say goodbye to this eleven year old orphan girl at the end of the week...for she had become a best friend!
            But that was the night that the Lord set my heart on fire for the cause of the orphan child. A righteous anger was beginning to arise within me. I knew I could not just go back home to my comfortable home and act like nothing ever happened. I wanted to get involved with this ministry. I wanted to advance God’s Kingdom and do work with this ministry that solely existed to care for the orphans in Monterrey. I remember the evening so clearly. A storm was rolling through the mountains. I went outside and sat down in it and for one moment, I was aware of the fact that the same thing was going on inside of me. Every thing inside of me was shuffling around and I knew things would change but as Sue Monk Kidd so wisely said, "Patterns begin to crumble. It feels to us like a collapsing of all that is, but it's a holy quaking." I looked into the dark clouds and lightning and took a deep breath. "We can endure, transcend, and transform the storminess when we see the meaning and mystery of it” (Monk). I knew God was calling me to serve the orphans more long term, but I had no idea as to how that was going to happen. I had no idea what my next step would be. I had to just sit back and trust and wait…trust that our God would lead me to the right ministry opportunity at just the right time. The waiting was hard, but I knew God was transforming me. I knew there was no short cut, nor did I want one. I committed to leaning into his "transformation" wholeheartedly and with patience. Shortly thereafter though, I was offered and internship position with this very ministry that I served with during the summer of 2009.
            That’s why I find myself sitting here today, on this beautiful Father’s Day, not with my father, but with hundreds of children without fathers. For this month of June, I am interning with this ministry, Back2Back. Every day I come in to contact with anywhere between 15-50 orphans because one year ago, our Lord broke my heart for what breaks His and He is now using me, just an average servant with a willing heart, to fulfill some of His promises to the orphan. But today, it’s a little more bittersweet, celebrating Father’s Day with orphans. But today we are also all reminded again, who our eternal Father is. And how much He really loves us all. Today we are not reminded only of what sin has done, in leaving so many children without a home or parents. No, the story is never over there with our God. Today we are also reminded of the precious gift of our Father’s son that God gave us so that one day, we can all celebrate, together, in our eternal Father. No more pain. No more heartache. No more broken families. No more orphans.
            I believe that He wants to use you in pursuing the orphans as well. We are compelled by action by the many promises God has made to the orphans in Scripture. God promises to VINDICATE them, RESCUE them, DELIVER them, HEAR them, LIFT them up, be their FATHER, MEET their needs, maintain their cause...God intends to fulfill many of these promises through us, His church.
            Please pray with me for the fatherless children today. Pray that they find peace and love in Christ’s arms. Pray that they can break free from chains and strong holds that have tied them down. Pray that God delivers them and leads them out of their oppression. Pray that by the power of Christ, the Enemy’s hold on them will break loose.
            “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress...” (New International Version, James 1:27).
            Dios promete ser su padre. God promises to be their Father.

This is Ady, the girl God used to spark the flame in my heart for His orphaned children.

Wake up, child. You were BORN for such a time as this.

2010-09-23T15:41:00.000-05:00

This is the first song I heard from Jesus Culture. I listened to it on the drive from the airport in Monterrey to Back2Back where I would be spending the rest of my month serving the poor and fatherless.
I heard this song and hit the ground running.
We were born for such a time as this. We are a chosen generation. Let us WAKE UP!

Waiting is...

2010-08-07T15:04:00.000-05:00

steadfast, that is holding on;
patience, that is holding back;
expectancy, that is holding the face up;
obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do;
listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear
"How long, Lord, must I wait?" "Nevermind, child. Trust me."

The Faces that Melted My Heart

2010-07-28T18:18:00.000-05:00

Sweet sweet Jose (Pepe)

The beautiful and fiesty little Ana Karen

My helpful little Tonio

Sweet Chuy

One of my bestfriends, Ady

Lively Jenny

Dulce y Ana Karen :)

Sweet little Jose (Pepe) y Dulce

Joyful little Ociero

Beautiful Dulce

Jose (Pepe) y Amelia


Sweet sweet Jose

These are the children that God has used to melt my heart. These are the children that God has used to spark the flame that is now the fire inside my heart for the orphan child. The orphan child has a very sacred place in our Father's heart. Throughout Scripture, He is repeatedly making promises to the orphan. God promises to:
*vindicate them

*rescue them

*deliver them

*to hear them

*to lift them up

*to meet their needs

*to maintain their cause

*to be their Father...

And guess what? I believe whole heartedly that God intends to fulfill some of those promises through us, His church. We are to be a voice for the fatherless and enter into God's work on behalf of the orphan child. Please come alongside me in praying for these kids, whether these faces are familiar to you or not. Please pray.

Pray that these promises will be fulfilled in these children's lives. Pray that whatever strong holds Satan has on them, that they will be broken. Pray that these children will be freed from generational sin and strong holds. Pray that these children are daily encountering the love of CHRIST.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..." James 1:27

Father, You Are King Over the Flood

2010-07-21T20:15:00.000-05:00

It was my fourth day in Mexico and it was my first day off. Being that it was a Sunday, almost every person had left the Back2Back campus to go to church. Never seeing the campus so quiet and vacant, I didn't know what to do with myself.

Well, after wandering around trying to find any signs of life on campus for an hour or so, I gave up and thought, "Hey, what a perfect day to just sit and be still before God all day?!". So...I grabbed a chair and took a spot by the pool. As I looked out towards the mountains, I took a deep breath and prayed that I wouldn't let the month just fly by, but that I would celebrate in each and every moment and truly recognize God.

As I continued praying, I realized that my prayed had quickly turned in to me begging God that He would rid me of all of my distractions back home and that I would be completely open to whatever it was that He wanted to teach me and show me.

Then as I stilled my soul before Him again, I looked out again on to His creation and this phrase kept coming to my mind:
"Cassie, I am King over the flood."

At first I was like, "Huh? Ok God...but uh...random much? I don't know what a FLOOD has to do with anything, but....alright."

Throughout the days this phrase just kept coming to mind over and over again. As I sat and thought about it, I felt strongly that what God was showing me was that all these distractions and situations that kept coming up from back home were my "floods". And if you think about it, no human hand can stop the raging waters of a flood. But yet, that's exactly what I was trying to do with my "floods".

Each week it was a different "flood"- a different situation or distraction that had risen to the surface from back home. And each week I would fail miserably in trying to stop the "waters: of these floods; whether that was just shoving these "floods" and thoughts from these "floods" in to the back of my head, or telling myself that these things weren't a bid deal and didn't matter...either way, on my OWN, I could NOT do it. And every week God stepped in and said "Cassie, I am King over the flood. Trust my hand and let me handle it." And without fail, every time that I handed these issues/"floods" to God, the "waters" from these "floods" lowered and were washed away. Peace would again enter my heart in an overwhelmingly powerful way.

So week by week I had a new personal "flood"and week by week I had to learn that only GOD had power over each and every one. And not only that He had POWER over each and every one, but that He wanted me to give HIM the power in taming my personal "floods".

Well...week 4 came and I had no clue what was in store for me. But by Thursday of week 4, Monterrey was getting a beating from Hurricane Alex. I had never seen anything quite like it. Cars were floating by our bus on the highway, concrete walls were knocking down as though they were paper thin from the forces of the rising waters on the other side, entire villages were washed away, the Back2Back campus was completely underwater, a highway just miles from our campus had literally fallen off in to the river....
it was a FLOOD in full affect. 40 + inches of rain. This was a real, powerful, tangible, and physical FLOOD. Right there, before my eyes, was a physical flood. No longer was I dealing with a personal, intangible "flood". This was the real deal. I had never seen anything like it. I had always seen pictures of the damage that a hurricane or flood can do, but trust me, it's nothing like seeing it and experiencing it right before your eyes. There were moments that I was very scared, so scared that all's I knew to do was cry.

The night that the hurricane hit worst, I literally got about 30 minutes of sleep. But during those 30 minutes, I had a dream. In my dream, scenes from the day were playing over and over in my head. I kept seeing every one shoveling water out of the Guckenberger's front yard. I kept seeing the gate open and waters flood through, looking as though a dam had just burst. I kept hearing groups of people in the distance just crying out to God that He would stop the rain. I kept hearing Todd yelling "KEEP SHOVELING" when everyone else was about to give up hope. I kept hearing the stories from what was going on at the Rio's. In the middle of this dream though, everything stopped. Everything was silenced and was in like slow motion. Then in my dream I looked up to the mountains and could hear God say to me, "Cassie, I am your Father. And I am KING OVER THE FLOOD."

I woke up with such a peace. I had never experienced this type of peace before. People were rushing up to our room at 5 in the morning telling us to gather our passports because word was that we were going to need to be evacuated, but I had peace.

We were told that there were only 2 safe rooms on campus, but I had peace.

We were told that one of the streets on campus was literally like a river, but I had peace.

We were told that if our wall crashed down, the entire LDM would wash away, but I had peace.

We were told that sink holes up to 6 feet deep were forming on campus, but I had peace. Why? Because my Father is King over the flood.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

2010-07-20T11:56:00.001-05:00

As you all know, Hurricane Alex swept through Monterrey, Mexico almost 3 weeks ago now. The damage was severe, but people are starting to get back on their feet again with the help of so many supporters and donations and of course the help of our great and mighty God.
The people of Monterrey are still in need of our prayers though. So I encourage you to keep them in your prayers. Pray that things continue to get better, pray that God will send servants to help, pray that the Spirit fills all the staff and interns with some glorious strength to keep going and finish strong, pray that health is restored and that sickness and illness are defeated and eliminated, pray that out of all this disaster, BEAUTY WILL RISE.
Sorry that I am just now getting around to doing this, but here are some pictures of the damage that Alex left on Rio III.

Far Too Easily Pleased

2010-07-20T11:41:00.000-05:00

"It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." -C.S. Lewis

“Why do you spend your money on junk food, your hard-earned cash on cotton candy? Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best, fill yourself with only the finest. Pay attention, come close now, listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words. I'm making a lasting covenant commitment with you, the same that I made with David: sure, solid, enduring love.” -Isaiah 55:2-3

....Are you too easily pleased? Too easily satisfied? Are you hungering after the true bread of God?

ADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-07-17T22:02:00.001-05:00

I have some of the best friends in the world in Mexico. As a bunch of you already know, God used one of the girls, ADY, from one of the children homes (Manantial de Amor- Spring of Love) in Mexico, to capture my heart.

God showed me SOOOO much through her last year. Though I only got to spend a week with her last year, I knew that she would always hold a very special place in my heart. So...you can only imagine my excitement when I found out that I had the opportunity to spend a MONTH in Mexico and get to know Ady even more!

Within my time down there, some of the other interns, actually probably ALL of them, caught on to my love for this girl and would do anything they could to get me to see her and talk to her more. They also knew how sad I was to be leaving her. So.....my friend Adam (intern for both June and July) decided to video her for me! And my other friend Anna (also an intern for both June and July) interpreted! I am SOOO BEYOND THANKFUL for friends like this. And I am so beyond thankful that God has put a love for this girl Ady in my other friends hearts as well, so that while I am gone, she can still see God's love in action through two of my bestfriends.

The video brought me to tears. It brought me to tears for many reasons.... It brought me to tears because I miss Ady. It brought me to tears because I am so thankful to God for putting her in my life. It brought me to tears because I realize that God used HER to fire up my heart for the orphan child and missions. It brought me to tears because I see what great friends like Anna and Adam that God has put in my life. It brought me to tears because I can't wait to go back!!!!

Please pray for Ady! OOOH! Big news: I recently found out that Ady wants to be a missionary!!!!! This girl amazes me! In many ways, I really look up to her!

This is the famous Ady that stole my heart one year ago:

It's good to be back home.

2010-07-13T18:04:00.001-05:00

This past week has been one crazy emotional rollercoaster. For the first half of the week I was still battling whatever sickness I caught during my time down in Mexico, and then the second half of the week was me trying to wake up to the reality that I actually am back in the states.

I have faced so many different emotions. I have my good days and my bad days. I go through phases of anger, phases of great joy, phases of doubt, phases of peace, and the list goes on...

I am so glad to be back home with a family that loves me though. You never really realize how truly blessed you are, until you are away from that blessing for a period of time. I'm so thankful to have a family and friends that love me and encourage me in my spiritual walk and actually want to sit down and listen to me talk for hours on end about all the great things that I witnessed God do during my stay in Mexico.

It's been great to have a week of relaxation and rest. I had nothing planned this week so I was able to sit back, process thoughts, pray, and sleep. And then once I was feeling better my family took us all up to the beach to spend some time together.

Now this week is when all the craziness begins again...I start back at work tomorrow, friends are back from camp, school will start again soon, college preparation is beginning. I'm praying for some mighty glorious strength from the ever strong Jesus.

Alright...well...I'm working on compiling all my thoughts together for a mighty grand post on all that I got to see God do while I was in Mexico. Until then, this is creeper Cassie, signing out ;)

Mexico Update

2010-07-13T17:59:00.000-05:00

I was informed by another intern's blog about the latest situations and updates in Monterrey. Good news and bad news.

Good news: The rain has stopped. The sun is shining again. The heat is back. The birds are chirping, and they can actually see the mountains again. Thank you Jesus.

Bad news: The situations at the Rio's are still very bad. Now that the heat is back, the smell of the garbage and the sewage there is getting worse. They are concerned that sickness and disease may break out because of the bad water and unsanitary living conditions.

I ask along with all those living down there for your continued prayers.

In the Words of My Friend Adam

2010-07-11T11:18:00.001-05:00

Adam is one of the interns at Back2Back that I had the opportunity to serve alongside during the month of June. He is an intern for June and July though, and has a lot to say about what he has seen this past week and a half as Hurricane Alex has hit, caused devestation and already left again. Here's what he says:

Understanding God

This past week we have experienced many difficulties and challenges. The things I have seen and experienced at the places we serve, I can't even fully explain. Last Tuesday the rain started and didn't stop until Sunday. We have had thunderstorms and flooding all week.

The Hurricane hit us Thursday night last week, and as you could see from the video the damage that we had on our property was pretty bad. This weekend we went out to the Rios where we serve, and I was in shock at what I saw. The river was 50 yards wider, the ground was 10 feet lower, and not a single house or remnant visible.

2 days ago we walked down to a house where we know 2 ladies lived. The house is made of cinder block, and was still standing, but was full of 4 feet of mud. One of the ladies is 80 years old, and she lives with her daughter who is 61yrs old and her daughter's husband. They are both missing a leg due to circulation, and are in wheel chairs. The house is only 15x10ft wide. They barely made it out before the river rose. We walked down to the house because one of the ladies left her passport and visa there, so we went to try and find it. After 2 hours of digging through the mud and sludge in the house we still hadn't found them. We searched every inch, and couldn't find it.

Out front they had an old minivan that didn't run. It was also stuck in 4 feet of mud. They wanted to get it out and sell it so that they could get money to build a new home closer to the road and away from the river. So we started digging, and got the tires and side uncovered. There was still mud under the car that we couldn't get though, so we asked a guy that was using a backhoe if he could help us. After serveral failed attempts and some good laughs, we finally got it out. Unfortunately my camera died and I didn't get a video of us pulling it out, but here is one of the failed attempts haha.

After we got the car out, I was behind the house looking at the river, and there had been a little boy that was hanging out with us all day. His name was Antonio, but we called him Tonio. He is always at the church and loves to help us out pouring concrete and digging. He is only about 6 years old, and has a good little Heart. Anyway he was hanging out with me, and all of the sudden he said, "hey come here lets swing." and I looked at where he was pointing, and saw an old swing set buried in the mud, and it was on a slant. My first thought was are you kidding me? lol. and he said again, Come on "Vamos", which means "lets go". and he went over to the swing set and unrolled the swing down and started to swing. he only went like a foot, but he didn't care. After a minute he said, "Vamos Adam" and he got out of swing and unrolled the other swing down for me.

And I think of the Heart of this little 6 year old...having nothing, and yet he still wants to give. This past weekend I was reading a Verse in Matthew, 18:3, and it states "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." .....And I thought of this verse as little Tonio asked me to swing with him. And the verse just clicked in my head. Here is this little child, who could care less about the broken swingset he was on, or the wet cloths he was in, or even that he no longer had a home. His heart was full of Joy. I feel that this is what God wants us to feel like. He doesn't want us to worry about what to do next, or how to do it. But he does want us to enjoy what is right in front of us.

As we get older we get smarter, well some of us, and we begin to feel as though we can take control of our lives. Planning things out, schedules about tomorrow or next week. But God says why plan something that you can't control? As a child our minds don't think this way. We are clueless to many things, and we don't have control. Our mindset is to find the Joy in things that are right before our eyes. And God says if you continue to look to the future, you will miss what I have to offer you right now. We are Gods Children, and he wants us to act and be his children. But we cant do that unless we completley understand how to not just be a child, but a child of God. He loves us sooo much, and all he wants us to do is Love him Back, and Follow in is Sons Name. I challenge you to see where you may need to loosen up a bit, and swing on the swings with Tonio and I.

I have enjoyed this past week even though it has been crazy and the devestation I have seen is very bad. I have grown in my fellowship not just with the other interns but also with the staff. Lately I have trying to turn my perspective around, and truly realize God in the worst situations. Now I haven't a clue what the Big Man's plans are, but I think as a true believer and follower, that even when we may feel down or sorrowful, and ask God why, that we must realize that he has a plan in all this. I have seen families homeless, in wet cloths, sleeping in raw sewage, and on dirt and mud. I have seen destruction and hurt, and pain. I have seen starvation, and neglect. But I have also seen families growing closer together. I have seen more community in the people. I have seen the men coming to church for the first time. I have seen people who dont even know Christ asking, "who is this God, and why does he care about me. I have seen God in the hearts and eyes of the people when we ask, if they need something. I see God in the strange look I get when I ask " Can I pray for you?" And I see God in the Kids even when they sneek back in line to snag another hotdog. God is in Everyone, and is everywhere. Even in the destruction of of this storm God says, I love you, and I will take care of you. For God who has the whole plan, the whole map of my life, your life, and everyone elses life drawn out, he says, "trust me , I know what Im doing up here."

The other night all the interns were praying about the storm and the people in the Rios. And I was thinking of a song that Kim Walker sings called "How he Loves". and the lyrics say that God's Love is like a hurricane and I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. and that verse just stands out to me. If we have our full trust and Faith in God, this Hurricane can never and will never rip us out of the ground. Now it may make us sway a bit, but the root of our faith, my faith and your faith has to be completely solid in the ground, in order for us to understand Gods purpose in all this. We will never know Gods plan, but we must plant our selves deep into his Love and mercy and accept all that he has to offer, and truly experience the Joy of him in each and every day.

This week Our church comes St. John Nuemann. I am exciteced to see my parents and my uncles and Cousin and also our church comunity. I am very anxious to see how God is going to work in there Hearts, and I am anxious to share my passion for minisrty and my Love for these kids with them. I ask that you please keep this group in your thoughts and Prayers. God I pray that you completely overwelm this group with you Love and that you show them How to become a true child of Christ.
I wish you all a great weekend
Much Love
Adam

Here's a video that Adam took of Rio III.

Please Pray

2010-07-09T12:59:00.000-05:00

I arrived back in the U.S. late Sunday night, since then though, much has been happening in Monterrey, Mexico. The clean up efforts have began, but we also just received news that Monterrey will be hit with Tropical Depression Bonnie soon. This means more rain on top of the beating of rain we already got hit with last week.

I ask that you PLEASE keep everyone down there in your prayers. Pray that God keeps His people sheltered and protected. Pray that beauty will rise out of this mess. Pray for the hearts of the men and women that have to see the devestation Alex left on the Rio's. Pray what the Spirit leads you to pray.

Here's some video footage of one of the Rio's:

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Here's some of the damage Alex left on the bridges right outside of Back2Back's property:

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

And here's some of the damage left right here on Back2Back's property:

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I'm Home

2010-07-07T11:47:00.001-05:00

After a month and several days, I am finally back en los estados unidos. I must say, I was in shock for a good 24 hours. I felt like I was sleep walking. When I landed in Atlanta and saw an American flag, I had to do a double take. I had forgotten so much. I even started crying when everyone around me was talking in English because I missed listening to everyone in the Monterrey airport talk in Spanish.

I'm still getting used to some things. Today I went out driving for the first time in a month and boy did it feel weird! The roads even look weird to me.

I'm still in a fog and trying to process my thoughts. But I'm glad to be home! :)

Just please be praying that God heals me. I'm still fighting whatever sickness I caught down in Mexico and now I think I gave it to one of my sisters as well.

Love you all! Thank you for all the prayers and support! This is not the end of my mission trip...but only the beginning.

The Aftermath of Alex

2010-07-02T21:21:00.001-05:00

Hi friends...we've finally gotten power and internet back. Our water is still unusable though, considering that everything that comes out of our pipes right now is probably poop.

Lots has happened since my last post. I can't even process my thoughts because I'm so beside myself. The effects of this storm will be very long lasting. I've never seen anything quite like this.

Since I posted last:

-we got probably about 18 more inches of rain

-concrete walls knocked down like they were paper thin

-septic tanks busted open and flowed poop out in to the streets

-water lines broke

-every house and dorm on campus flooded

-sink holes about 6 feet deep formed

-people came to our door in the middle of the night to tell us that we needed to put our passport in a ziploc and evacuate

-we were told that if the concrete wall behind the LDM busted, the entire LDM would collapse

-guys working throughout the night were working in 4 foot deep water

-group trips for the upcoming week here have been cancelled

-July interns have been delayed at least a week

-the river rose up 50 feet and the highway is gone...last night the highway was 10 feet underwater

-the Rio's have been destroyed...they are pretty much just no longer

-and now all the interns are sitting here in the LDM either putting up pictures of the storm or doing a slip 'n' slide on the flooded floor on here....or a few of them are actually being entertained by one of the guys who thought it would be funny to put peanutbutter on his elbow and try to lick it off...things get crazy when you've been without power or water for over 24 hours...haha.

Oh, and I somehow caught Influenza A in the midst of all the chaos.

It's been a long 3 days. I was literally shoveling water and gravel for 8 straight hours yesterday. These past 3 days have by far been the most stretching/challenging days I've ever had. In every area...spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

I can't yet put in to words what God has shown me. Actually, I probably could, it would just be a flippin' novel. So...let me figure out how to somehow summarize it and put it on paper, and I'll be sure to fill you all in.

For now, the internet is too slow to put up pictures.

But know that the damage is severe and Back2Back along with the rest of the country needs prayer. We've got a lot, a lot, a lot of work ahead of us. Pray that interns and staff are prayed with some supernatural energy because we are all just about out.

Word is that I'm flying out of here on Sunday. Hopefully see you all soon.

Alex is Knockin On Our Door

2010-07-01T12:35:00.000-05:00

Well...here we are, one day before I am supposed to fly outta here and we're being severly hit by Hurricane Alex. Actually....Alex hasn't even hit yet. He's now only hours away from hitting this town. The countdown is on. We're expecting winds up to 75 mph and about 2 more feet of rain ON TOP OF the 2 feet we already have.

We're doing all that we can to prepare. We are so flooded that water on the other sides of the concrete walls is building too much pressure that we are having to knock holes in to the wall or else the wall would just collapse.

We're also building drainage systems.

We're stocked up on food and water. We're already locked in here. The roads outside Back2Back are completely flooded and one of the bridges is about 10 feet underwater from the water from the river flooding it.

Here's some pictures:

This is what used to be the path from my house to LDM...

Part of the drainage system we needed to make so that waters wouldn't flood in to the dorms in LDM.

Well...this is what used to be our basketball court...

And...this is our driveway...

This isn't even the worst of it. And here at Back2Back, we've got coverage and shelter. I can't imagine the destruction at the Rio's. Please....please...be praying.

The Calm BEFORE the Storm

2010-06-30T17:54:00.000-05:00

Hurricane Alex is not technically supposed to hit Monterrey until the middle of the night tonight. But look at the damage that's been done just TODAY. This is what we call the calm before the storm. What's happened today will be nothing compared to what's coming tomorrow. Please be praying.

This is right outside one of our children's homes, Imperio de Amor

On the highway on the way back home.

We are expecting about 2 more feet of rain tomorrow. This storm hasn't even started yet. Please keep everyone in the path of this storm in your prayers. Especially the families living in the Rio's (squatter villages located just meters from the river).

As long as we have power and internet, I'll try to keep you posted.

Hurricane Alex

2010-06-29T21:15:00.000-05:00

Hurricane Alex has officially hit! The downpour of rain began tonight during worship. It was so great to sit down in the rain and sing out to Jesus.

It's really funny, the timing of this hurricane, actually. For the past week, I have been on my knees praying to God that if there was any way for me to be able to stay here for just a little bit longer that He would open up the doors and make a way....

The worst of the hurricane hits Friday morning at 1 AM...just several hours before I'm supposed to fly out of here! Um...I'm not going to get my hopes up....but things are looking like they'll be working in my favor. ;)

Obviously though, there are dangers with this hurricane. Some of the squatter villages that we serve are located right alongside the river. They literally live in homes with dirt floors and tarps for a ceiling. Tomorrow a group will be heading out to these homes to supply them with more tarps, flashlights, plenty of water and food, and flashlights.

Back2Back is also preparing for the worst. The power typically goes off here when it rains hard and we're expecting about 10 inches of rain in the next several days.

All that being said...keep everyone in the path of this hurricane in your prayers. I'm not sure how much longer the power will be on here, so this very well could be my last post down here.

Quien sabe cuando voy a salir de aquí! Creo que Dios tiene más que enseñarme aquí! Vamos a ver! ;)

VIVE MEXICO!

2010-06-28T18:21:00.000-05:00

Although Mexico lost to Argentina yesterday, I still say..... VIVE MEXICO!

YES! Check out that face paint! We're hardcore MEXICO FANS. GOOOOOOAAAAAALLLL!!!!

I'm Really Going to Miss These People

2010-06-28T17:29:00.000-05:00

God has POURED OUT blessing on me this month. One HUGE one though is the people He has surrounded me with this month. The friendships that I have formed down here are so strong, and we've only known eachother for four weeks. I feel like I've known them my entire life though.
These people are not only hilarious and so much fun to be around, but they love Jesus and truly edify me. I'm praying that these relationships stay strong as I leave this place. These people have changed my life.
This is my tribute to them.

TE VOY A EXTRANAR!

Some Recent Adventures!

2010-06-28T16:43:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged much recently...mostly because I realize that I only have several days left down here and want to spend every second of it soaking it up by spending it out in nature or interacting with the people down here.
But in the past week or so, a lot has happened! I was able to practice my salsa dancing with some of the best salsa dancers ever.
I had the opportunity to go to Plaza Sesamo (a sweet water park/amusement park in Monterrey) with Imperio de Amor.
I went rock climbing! No...not the fake, safe kind of rock climbing. This was like, legit, hard core rock climbing! No harnesses until I climbed up a 75 foot rock, and then repelled down. Then we hiked up to the top of a mountain and there was a pointed rock right at the peak....it looked like a sweet place to take pictures but if you leaned to far to one side, you would fall about 200 feet down to your death. But guess what?! I did it! I sat at the tip of it! It was absolutely exhilirating! Then today, being that it was my day off, I was able to go with one of the other interns and staff members to make a special trip out to Manantial de Amor to say goodbye to Ady. Here's some pics!

I'm a professional salsa dancer now ;)

Chillin' at Plaza Sesamo with intern Sammy :)

A couple of the ninos we took to Plaza Sesamo!

I also learned how to flush a toilet without a flusher!!!! It was so awesome! Ha ha I was offering to flush everyone elses toilet in the bathroom!

Repelling down the rock I climbed!

Alright sorry this post is so short and choppy, groups are arriving back though and dinner is calling my name :) Until then, this is creeper Cassie, signing out ;)

Overwhelmed by His Goodness

2010-06-28T16:23:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting inside the LDM right now listening to the rain pound on the roof, listening to "Your Love Never Fails" by Jesus Culture. I'm sitting here in disbelief that I only have three days left here in Monterrey, Mexico, AKA my second home. I'm sitting here wondering how in the world one month could go by so insanely fast. I'm sitting here reflecting on what I've learned this past month, and praying that I let these truths penetrate my heart. I'm sitting here.............flippin overwhelmed by God's goodness.
I came down here totally and completely unaware of all of the ways God would change me. I had the mindset that I already knew in advance what He was going to show me and teach me. You would think that that mindset of pride would cause Jesus to turn from me and let me figure it out on my own. But He's faithful, loving, and always pursuing...and man, He's rocked my world. In this past month:
my faith has been shaken,
my heart has been broken,
my knowledge has been proved to be little,
my pride has been crushed,
and my eyes have been opened.
The first week down here was rainy. The middle two weeks were crazy pyscho hot and sunny. And now my last week down here it's rainy again (due to tropical storm alex). To me, the rain the first week symbolized that God was washing me clean from my sin and washing away any distractions back home and washing me from any strongholds. The middle two weeks with the sunny and pyscho hot weather then symbolized to me the light that God was shedding on my heart and all the things He was showing me. And things were heating up inside of me as was the air outside of me. Now as it's raining again this last week I'm down here, I feel as though this symbolizes God preparing me for what's to come when I go back home. He's washing me and cleansing me and preparing me. I fully feel that God is telling me that when I get home big things will be heading my way. I need His spirit and His presence to guide me through it. If at all a rough transition back home, I know that my Father is King over the flood and will carry me through.
I ask that any of you reading this will pray for my transition back home. I'm very nervous about it, and to be honest, almost dreading it. I miss my family and want to see them, but besides that I'm dreading the thought of coming home. I don't want this attitude to get in the way of things that God wants to teach me back home. Please keep me in your prayers. Thank you. Love you all!
Cassie

The Promise I Cling To

2010-06-20T23:21:00.000-05:00

I've said over and over relentlessly in these past several blog entries that I'm struggling to face the pain and poverty down here daily in Monterrey, Mexico. But as I was reading through Proverbs the other day I came across this verse in Proverbs 23:

"Do not enroach the fields of the fatherless, for THEIR DEFENDER IS STRONG." 23:10-11

Their defender is STRONG.

Their defender is STRONG.

He has not forgotten them. These fatherless children have a very sacred place in our King's heart.

This part "their defender is strong" has been written on my foot for several days now just to remind me in my moments that "the story isn't over yet" and God will defend their case and lift them up. He promises to be their father.

Dios promete ser su padre.

Where You Go, I Go.

2010-06-20T12:13:00.000-05:00

Where you go I go
What you say I say, God
Where you pray I pray
Where you pray I pray

Jesus only did
what he saw you do
He would only say
what he heard you speak

He would only move
when he felt you lead
Following your heart
Following your spirit

How could I expect
to walk without you
when every move that Jesus made
was in surrender

I would not begin
to live without you
for you alone are worthy
and you are always good

YOU ARE ALWAYS GOOD.

YOU ARE ALWAYS GOOD.
always good.
always good.

though the world sees and soon forgets
we will not forget who you are and what you've done for us,
what you've done for us

though the world sees and soon forgets
we will not forget, who you are,
who you are, who you are, yeah
who you are, OH YOU ARE MY GOD, YOU ARE MY GOD
YOU ARE MY GOD, YOU ARE MY GOD, YOU ARE MY GOD

Where You go, I go God.

Thought Y'all Would Enjoy This

2010-06-20T12:01:00.000-05:00

Here it is....my long lost grandfather and me.

A Bittersweet Father's Day

2010-06-20T11:44:00.000-05:00

Today is my first Father's Day away from home. As I'm away from my father on this Father's Day though, it just so happens that the place I am living in is quite literally the land of the fatherLESS.

Every day I come in to contact with anywhere from 15-50 orphans. On any typical day this is difficult and spiritually and emotionally weary enough, but being that today is Father's Day and these children have no earthly father, it makes it all a little more poignant.

This Father's Day is different....in a good way. I've never been more grateful for my dad in all my life.

Thank you Jesus, for blessing me with my amazing earthly father. And thank you, Daddy, for being such a great father. Thank you for following Christ. Thank you for showing me truth when I can't see it. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for making me laugh when I don't feel like it. But what I thank you most for is teaching me more about my Heavenly Father with each day.

Have you thanked your dad yet today? But more importantly, have you thanked your Heavenly Father today for your earthly father? Don't take it for granted. I'm sad that it took me coming down here and looking in to the pain in these orphans eyes to realize how great I have it.

Please pray with me for the fatherless children today. Pray that they find peace and love in Christ's arms. Pray that they can break free from chains and strong holds that have them tied down. Pray that God delivers them and leads them out of their oppression. Pray that by the power of Christ, the Enemy's hold on them will break loose.

We are compelled to action by the many promises God has made to orphans in Scripture. God promises to VINDICATE them, RESCUE them, DELIVER them, HEAR them, LIFT them up, be their FATHER, MEET their needs, maintain their cause....God intends to fulfill many of these promises through us, His church.

There are many ways you can take part in this, and one big way is to pray.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..." James 1:27

Dios promete ser su padre. God promises to be their Father.

Caving Adventures

2010-06-18T22:27:00.000-05:00

Today was, like every other Friday night, intern outing night. Every Friday night, a few staff members take all the interns out somewhere in Mexico to have some fun! Last week we went and played pool and went out to eat. And this week we went caving! Then as soon as we got back home, we had a salsa dancing party! It was INCREDIBLE! I love these people! Here's some pics!

The other Cassie, me, Victoria, and Andrew

Climbing through to the other side

The cave creatures

Hero Adam saving me from the falling rocks!

Preparing to SALSA DANCE! :)

Come be the fire inside of me, the flame upon my heart.

2010-06-17T18:57:00.000-05:00

Oh my word. I have discovered a new group. They're called Jesus Culture. You've probably heard of them. Everyone down here listens to them, and they're amazing. Every song of theirs has moved me in a deep way. This one is my favorite though. It's called You Won't Relent and it's absolutely beautiful.

Listen to it. I dare you to try and not be moved.

He Has Overcome The WORLD

2010-06-17T16:06:00.000-05:00

For any of you reading this, pray that my heart may have peace. I thought it was hard being down here for a WEEK last year seeing the pain and poverty...a MONTH is ten times harder. Every day I am at either one of the children's homes (orphanages) or one of the slums.

My heart is troubled. I can't tell you the number of times I've cried for God to SEND HIS GLORY and do miracles and lift up this city. I have no reason to be troubled though, Jesus promises me in John 16:33 that He has overcome the WORLD. That means that the battle is already won. There is no competition. Satan is defeated. As I was telling this to the middle school girls in my small group this morning I started crying because once I proclaimed that with my mouth, and said OUT LOUD that the BATTLE IS ALREADY WON, it became truth again to me. I let it actually settle in.

So please just continue to keep me in your prayers and pray that my heart may have peace from the fact that Jesus has overcome.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Satan's Favorite Trick

2010-06-17T15:50:00.000-05:00

I've come to realize that ISOLATION is one of Satan's very favorite tricks. He LOVES to trip up believers by telling them that they are all alone. That no one understands what they're going through, and if you tried to explain it to someone, they would think you are weird.

Satan plays this "isolation" game in several different ways. He can lie to you and tell you that your sin is different from everyone elses. And no one else struggles with the same sin that you do. Therefore getting you to turn away from God's command in James to "confess your sin to eachother and pray for eachother so that you may be healed". He doesn't want you to confess. Because with confession comes healing and accountability. And with accountability can come the elimination of sin. He wants you to think that no one understands your sin so that he hinders you from coming to healing and freedom.

I'm struggling right now with this deception of "isolation". I'm scared that when I come home no one will understand what I've experienced and that I'll be "all alone". And when I start to dwell on that and believe that, I'm opening the door for even more deception from the enemy. Pretty soon I hear things from him like, "Your friends don't care what you're learning down here. They'll never understand so don't even bother sharing." Or "why would you even try starting a ministry for the orphans? No one knows about the orphans. No one knows what they go through so why would anyone support you in that? No one will."

Satan has been throwing me lie after lie after lie while I've been down here. And I'm sad to say that I've let some of them sink in and believe them. I try to shut him out by telling myself that these are lies from Satan, but that's not enough. I've learned that I can't just REMOVE the lies and leave nothing in their place. That would be like taking a brick out of the wall and putting nothing back in to hold it's place and keep it sturdy and built. I need to replace these lies with truth. I need to literally be looking in to Scripture and repeating God's Word to myself when I start to believe Satan's lies.

For example: When Satan tells me I'm not beautiful....I say "NO. That's not true. Here it is Psalm 139 'I am fearfully and WONDERFULLY made."

Or when Satan tells me that there is no hope for the orphan. That God has forgotten about them. That's when I say "NO. John 14:18 'I will not abandon you as orphans, I will come to you.'"

I've found this to be one of the most powerful things. Using God's Word to knock down Satan's lies. It's something I've been taught to do my whole life but I'm just now coming around to doing it.

"For the Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double edged sword. It penetrates to dividing even soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

For Heather

2010-06-15T22:48:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the big FIESTA. Back2Back hosted a party for not only all the people on Back2Back campus but all the children and all the encargadas from all the children's homes that Back2Back sponsors. Um....that includes MANANTIAL DE AMOR! Also known as the BEST CHILDREN'S HOME...EVER.

Manantial is where Ady and Chewy live. And they are also known as the BEST CHILDREN EVER....ha ha.

The "reuniting" with Ady is a long story that I'll save for another blogpost, but I just had to let Heather know about Chewy.

So here's how the story goes:

The Manantial kids were piling out of the bus, pumped and ready to spend the evening at Back2Back and one jumped out and I thought to myself, "Hey, that kid looks a ton like Chewy. Nahh that's not Chewy. That kid looks way too grown up to be Chewy." So I walked on my merry way and tried to find the real Chewy...long story short, I couldn't find him. So I went to find the Chewy that I earlier thought was an imposter Chewy and said "Como te llamas?" ("What's your name?") and to my surprise he said "Chewy", and I got sooo excited, gasped and said "HOLA CHEWY! Me llamo es Cassie. Tu recuerdes mi amiga Heather?" and he looked up at me with the biggest smile and said "SI!!!!" and wrapped his arms around me. It was the cutest thing.

I couldn't wait to tell you Heather until I got home so I decided to tell you about it on here. Here's a picture of him. He's really grown up in this past year!

Wowzers.

2010-06-14T20:59:00.000-05:00

Today......was......

astonishing

ambroso

fabulous

unbelievable

wonderful

inspiring

marvalliso

spine-tingling

extraordinary

beautiful

and so much more. I have no words right now for just how beautiful this day was. God is moving. He's doing big things. Keep praying.

Love you all!

My Prayer

2010-06-06T15:12:00.000-05:00

"I want to learn to pray the way that David prayed. I want my soul to burn when I hear Your name. I want to feel like new, I want to hunger for You. Bring me back to life like only You can do...cause I don't want to stay the same."

Today, Yesterday, and the Day Before Yesterday

2010-06-06T14:50:00.000-05:00

So I've got a little catching up to do. Bear with me...I may not make complete sense. It's my day off and I just got out of the pool, soaking up the sun for 2 hours.

Two days ago was our day of training. I was expecting something much more intense and intimidating. They made it sound HARSH. But it was great! There was A LOT A LOT to learn, but most of it is "learn on the job" type of stuff. On Friday we also played a lot of games to get us interns comfortable with eachother. It's funny...I've known these people only almost 4 days and they all already feel like close friends of mine.

The fellowship and community here is amazing. The Holy Spirit is already transforming me through the fellowship and edification of these people.

Saturday was the first day with groups!!!! Three groups arrived yesterday. But before they arrived, it was prep time! This means WORK! I mean, WORK! Now THIS DAY waas INTENSE. I literally scrubbed out about 100 coolers and bins for 3 hours straight. It was AWESOME! And I truly mean that. It feels so good to get outside of myself and get down and dirty and sweat and work my booty off! Around 4 or 5 o' clock the children from Imperial de Amor came over for a pool party. I was a lifeguard! Wooot wooot! That's kind of a scary thought considering that I hate even going underwater without plugging my nose.... hahahah just kidding.....kind of.

After worship, I went and got my FREE ICECREAM! Oh yeah...I won a game and got a coupon for free icecream at the tienda! Score! The rest of the night I ended up hanging out with a few staff members and another intern named Rory. It was neat to hear these staff members stories. And listen to their heart's passion for the kids down here. These staff members that I chatted with, Tim Couch and Ruby Moyer, have so much wisdom and love for Christ that I just didn't want them to stop talking!

It was also nice to get to know one of the other interns on a more personal level and hear his story as well.

Jesus is already doing great things in me in just the aspect of the fellowship down here. I've never known anything like it. These people better me, and propel me to want to search God's heart even further, just by hanging out with them and seeing the way they love God unfold in just their everyday actions.

Alright...well sorry this was so long! peace out.

I Stand in Awe

2010-06-06T11:06:00.000-05:00

So...today is my day off. Each intern gets one day off a week. Mine just so happens to be scheduled on a day with no one else. So I'm sitting on the front porch of the LDM (Lugar de Misericordia- the main like "lobby" type area at Back2Back for all of you who haven't been to Back2Back) and the campus is absolutely silent. The groups have been sent off for the day, the interns went with, along with some of the staff, and as for the rest of the staff here at Back2Back, they're probably all still sleeping in their homes :)

It's absolutely beautiful. The past 3 days have been go, go, go. But now I get to sit here and soak it all in in complete silence and peace. I plan to just sit here all day and "know that He is God".

As I'm typing this, I'm looking out at the mountains directly in front of me. Back2Back is located in a valley, so either way you look, you're surrounded by mountains. It's breathtaking. I stand in awe of my Creator.

The only noise I hear right now are the crickets in the trees and the birds singing. The sun is shining and I'm guessing it's already in the mid 80"s and it's only 11 o' clock.

This morning, since it's my day off, I got to sleep in. I typically get up at about 7 or 7:15 but today I was planning on sleeping until about 10. But right about at 8:20 the sun popped over the mountain and shined right in to our room (we have a glass door) and shined right on to my face. I was up and in the shower in no time! And pumped for the day in solitude with Jesus.

Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!

Thank you again for all the prayers. I love you all dearly! Can't wait to hear all what went on in Indiana while I was gone!

June 3, 2010- 8:25 P.M.

2010-06-04T16:46:00.000-05:00

Dear journal,

Things have gotten better! The hardest part is over...at least I think!

I said my goodbyes, I successfully made it ithrough three airports by MYSELF! BOOYA! Okay...I lie. I successfully made it it through two and a half airports by myself. I needed some assistance in the Monterrey airport. Ha ha. I had a little...okay a BIG...detour in the Monterry airport. I was lost in seconds. I tried keeping my cool and acting like I knew what I was doing and knew what I was doing, but that act worked for only a good.....2.6 seconds.

Then I was cryin like a baby again, freaking out that at any second my head was going to be sliced off my a very unhappy man who wanted some drugs. SCAR-Y!

So...within seconds some kind, gracious fellow that worked at the airport came up and tried to help me get to where I was headed. But...being that I was completely beside myself and just wanted my mommy, NO SPANISH WORDS could come to my mind, let alone out of my mouth!

So that was quite the scene- one man speaking Spanish so fast you'd swear words were coming out faster than the speed of light, and one girl studdering so much you'd swear she'd never been out in public before.

Well... to make a long story short, I eventually found my way around the airport and my ride to Back2Back! Woo hoo! HALLELUIA! Praise the Lord! I survived!

So...I get to Back2Back, meet the other interns and some staff, sit down, take a deep breath, pray to God He gives me strength to finish the day, step out of my dorm, take a look at the mountains and say "LET'S DO THIS!"

-Cassie

June 3, 2010- 5:03 AM

2010-06-04T16:42:00.000-05:00

Dear journal,

Well...today's the day. The day that my dream comes true and I board a plane to Monterrey, Mexico to be an intern with Back2Back for an entire month.

To be honest though...it doesn't exactly seem like a "dream come true". I miss my family already and I'm scared.

Jesus, I need you to give me peace. The peace that surpasses all understanding. Remind me that this is not about me. Remind me why I'm doing this.

I look like an idiot right now. People are staring. I can't stop crying. I had a breakdown while saying goodbye to my dad. I wish that I didn't have to say bye to my dad. As I write that though, I realize how blessed I am to have a dad at all that I can even say goodbye to! I'm flying down to Monterrey to serve the fatherLESS. And I am sitting here crying like a baby because I have to leave mine for a month.

As I write this, I can feel Your peace gradually settling in to my heart, Lord. Jesus, You're all I need. You're all I need.

-Cassie

HELLO AMERICANS!

2010-06-04T16:40:00.001-05:00

`So...for all of you that are hanging on by a thread because you don't know whether or not I'm alive and survived... I'M ALIVE! YES! Thank you Jesus!

I decided that I'm just going to try and post my journal entries on here instead of having to go through and write like 4 books a day... soo...my next blog posts will be straight from the journal of me! :)

Interesting, right? ;)

Alright...well here goes nothin!

A Beautiful Girl Named Kirstan

2010-06-02T10:09:00.000-05:00

This is Kirstan.

This past year, I've had the privilege of having Kirstan as a student in my FiveStar group. She's a brilliant leader, a faithful servant, and a kind hearted middle school girl.

About two months ago, she won the FiveStar award "student of the season". I nominated her for this award because:

I believe Kirstan deserves the student of the season award for many reasons. Kirstan knows what it means to be "fivestar". She is consistently showing FiveStar values in her life. Whether that's courage, respect, sacrifice, or so on. In fact, she even wrote a song about what it means to be fivestar. I learn a lot by just watching Kirstan. In some ways I even wish I could be more like her. The way she sacrifices what she wants in the moment for what she ultimately wants in the long run is truly inspiring. She knows where and what she wants to be in 10 years and will only take steps in THAT direction. That does not mean in any way that she is perfect or never messes up or occassionally takes a wrong step. It just means that when she does, she gets back up again and remembers who she really is. Kirstan is willing to talk about the hard things so that she can heal and move on. That takes courage. She also takes steps towards her goal every week. Not just what is required though, she is always going above and beyond. I think that alone says a lot about her. Kirstan deserves the student of the season award.

This is her with her "student of the season" award:

So...here's a bit of information for ya, every student that is awarded with the student of the season award is automatically in the running for the student of the YEAR award. Kirstan won this award last year, and was determined to do so again this year....very determined. Kirstan got all A's for the first time this past semester, pushed herself in school work, gave all her efforts in pursuing goals towards becoming more "fivestar", and led an example for every other fivestar student.

After several months of working her BOOTAY off, Kirstan won the STUDENT OF THE YEAR AWARD again!!!!! I am so so so proud of her! She deserved this award. So...because she won this student of the year award, she got to go with FiveStar on the DREAM TRIP! And since I was her coach, I was able to go with! So yesterday, Kirstan and I hopped in a big FiveStar van, and traveled all over Michiana listening to the success stories of C.E.O's and basically getting spoiled by every place we went to!

We went to hear from DJ Construction, we were treated to Hacienda as the C.E.O. of Hacienda told us his story, we heard the story of a man who became a millionaire by the age of 28 by doing what he LOVES to do, and then we were treated to even MORE food at an amazing restaurant called Noma in downtown Southbend. The place was absolutely BEAUTIFUL and the food was...oooohh....man, it was goooooood.

I had a great day with Kirstan! Even though she is my student, I learn so much from her! Her story is INSPIRING. Kirstan is going to do GREAT things with her life. And we owe so much of that to what FiveStar has taught her.

Kirstan, I can't wait to see you back at FiveStar next year as a COACH! GEEEZ...that's weird to think about! But I know that you are going to be one of the best coaches that ever has and probably ever will coach at FiveStar!

Keep on leadin', shining, and dreaming big. You've got a big future ahead of you. Hold on tight, Jesus is about to take you on one crazy adventure! I'll be here for you the entire way! Love ya girl!

Unstoppable

2010-05-30T08:58:00.000-05:00

"When we want the things God wants, for the reason God wants it, we then become UNSTOPPABLE."

I'm Gunna Miss This Boy

2010-05-29T15:46:00.000-05:00

Sorry...I'm bombarding all 3 of you that read this blog with posts. But facebook is gone for now, so blogging is my new hobby. I'll probably keep this hobby for...I'm betting a good week. Then I'll get bored and find something new to do with my not spare time.

Anyways...I was thinking about how much I'm going to miss my family while I'm in Mexico...and then....I almost shed a tear when I thought about leaving this little guy behind for 31 days. :(

He's literally like...my best friend! WHAT IF HE FORGETS ME?!?! OH NO!

He's only two! He has a short memory, ok?! Noah: please don't forget me. I will cry forever. Please don't be scared of me when I come home.

Please try not to do to many cute things while I'm gone.

Also, could you try not to grow up too much while I'm gone?

Thanks, much love. Sincerely, your best and only friend, Cassie.

This is Creeper Cassie, signing out.

5 Full Days Left in the States

2010-05-29T06:39:00.001-05:00

I ONLY HAVE 5 DAYS LEFT HERE IN AMERICA! On June 3rd, at 5:45 AM I leave for MONTERREY, MEXICO! IN FIVE DAYS! Please keep me in your prayers. I'll blog more about what I'll be doing in Mexico and that sort of stuff later, but for now, please keep praying for me :)

Oh yeah, that also means I get to reunite with this guy, my long lost grandfather, in 5 days ;)

HA HA HA HA.

Alright...this is creeper Cassie, signing out.

The song that I listen to from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed these days.

2010-05-28T20:34:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh.....it's good. Give it a listen.

I Hate it When I Wake Up With a Mullet

2010-05-26T07:36:00.000-05:00

"Gosh darnt. Another bad hair day."

Trying to make it look cute...

Oh yeah, and sometimes I wake up as a blonde...

This is Creeper Cassie, signing out.

It's Worth Waiting For

2010-05-26T07:17:00.000-05:00

It's hard to wait. In fact, I think that waiting is one of the hardest things that God asks us to do.

I'm finding it difficult to wait, especially since I don't know how long I'll have to keep waiting for this specific thing. What I need to realize though is that this time of waiting is perhaps one of the most valuable times of my life. It is full of some of the richest lessons and greatest opportunities that I will ever experience.

Times of waiting take me to deeper levels of trust, strengthen my faith, remind me to abide in Christ, and teach me to delight in the Lord.

This season of waiting provides an ideal opportunity to learn the secret of being content in any situation. (Philippians 4:11-13) If I can learn now how to patiently rest in the Lord, think how invaluable this "skill" will be throughout my entire life.

I'm also learning that there are several consequences that occur when I fail to patiently wait for GOD to bring about HIS plans:

-I miss God's LESSONS (James 1:3-5)

-I miss God's BEST (Jeremiah 29:11)

-I miss God's HELP (Galatians 4:29)

-I miss God's OPPORTUNITIES

I'm also learning that waiting doesn't mean just sitting around wondering when this "thing" is going to happen. Rather, it means serving the Lord faithfully RIGHT NOW WHEREVER HE HAS PUT ME.

Waiting doesn't mean that I should do nothing. It means that I should focus on HIM and HIS work-serving God with ALL my heart, resting in Him, and trusting that HE will take care of EVERYTHING ELSE.

Waiting is patiently anticipating that which hasn't yet come and joyfully and diligently working on the LOrd's business in the meantime.

In this specific season of waiting, I'm really struggling because this "thing" I'm waiting on is something that I've wanted for nearly two years now.

So as much as I hate to admit it, I'm getting very impatient. It seems like two years would be long enough, right? Wrong. It's easy to wait when I'm completely peaceful about it and patient and satisfied with waiting. But the REAL stuff (perseverance, endurance, patience, self-control) grows when the situations and circumstances are difficult and beyond my level of strength. When I can't see past it all, or the the reason even for my waiting, but trust FULLY on the unseen and lean in whole-heartedly, is when Jesus can do some real work inside of me.

And it's only when I dive in to the Lord's work and STOP trying to figure out how I AM going to piece this all together that I can see God's hand in it all.

If I force this, or bring myself to this "thing" on my own timing, it's not going to be nearly as beautiful as it could be if I wait for God to bring me to it on His own timing.

So I'm leaning in through this challenge and letting God do what He wants in me and through me during this season of waiting.

This is Creeper Cassie, waiting patiently to see the beautiful plan God has in this all.
SIGN OUT.

The Creepiness That is Cassie

2010-05-23T17:53:00.000-05:00

I deleted my facebook a few days ago...so I'll probably be blogging quite a bit more in these next TEN DAYS before I leave for Mexico.

But anywho...now that I've deleted my facebook, I get on the computer, check my email, read the headlines, check the weather, and get really bored really fast. So now what I do, is I've been going through like EVERY SINGLE PICTURE on our computer....geeesh, there's a lot. But what I've discovered is that I like to take a lot of WEIRD pictures of myself. No, not cute, smiley, little "i'm-so-cute-and-i-know-it-so-i-can't-help-but-take-picures-of-myself" but more like "ha-ha-ha-i-can-really-entertain-myself-with-all-these-scary-faces-that-i-can-make".

I wonder what my family thinks when they're flipping through all our pictures on our computer and find that half of them are of me making creepy faces at the camera...

Well...I've decided that I'm going to put these pictures to use. From now on, I will "sign out" of my post as "Creeper Cassie" and add one of my lovely creepy pictures :)

Starting NOW.

This is Creepy Cassie, signing out.

FIVESTAR REFRESH

2010-05-23T17:26:00.000-05:00

Listen up! FiveStar is participating in the Pepsi Refresh Project! The Pepsi Refresh Project awards 1.3 MILLION to support the public's favorite ideas to "refresh" the world!

FiveStar has SEVEN ideas in the running to win a grant for Pepsi! We only have EIGHT days left to vote though! So...I'm asking for YOUR HELP!

We really need your votes! Daily, go to www.fivestarrefresh.com, click GO VOTE, and vote for each of FiveStar's ideas!!!

So... don't know much about FiveStar? Or wondering why you should go vote for them in this refresh project? Well.... let me tell you a bit about FiveStar...

Five Star partners with schools to bring regularly scheduled events that encourage and engage.

With food, fun, music and messages in their language, kids are nurtured to build relationships with coaches who “get” them — and give them great examples of five-star life ingredients:

*COURAGE

*RESPECT

*RESPONSIBLITY

*INTEGRITY

*SACRIFICE

I've volunteered with FiveStar for 2 years now, and seen MULTIPLE kids' lives CHANGE by what they learn and apply at FiveStar! FiveStar is doing great things for the Kingdom, and I'm asking you to help them out, by just going to www.fivestarrefresh.com once a day and voting. It will literally take 2 minutes! Maybe less!

Go here to learn more about FiveStar: http://www.fivestarlife.org/

um...yeah...i don't know what all those little green links are for. so...ignore those. my little brother was messing around on this laptop the other day and downloading some weird sushi games, so it might have to do with that. but i would ignore those. it might be a virus... :/

My Friend Heather

2010-05-12T10:38:00.000-05:00

"Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!" -Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

I have this friend... her name is Heather Stevens. She's one of my very best friends.

She kind of sort of really likes to take lots of pictures of herself on my camera...

Like a lot... these are only like 3 of the 1,289,234 that I have of her ;)

But that's besides the point. Let me just tell you a few things about Heather...

She's an excellent runner. Her motivation and self discipline inspire me. She's passionate about giving nothing but her best in running. So some of my other friends and I like to go every once in awhile and watch her work her butt off while we sit, cheer her on, and eat doughnuts.

Heather is hilarious. She's described by many as "awkward" but I describe it as she "says what she feels, sometimes before thinking (ha ha) and in awkward MOMENTS, but mostly she just likes to have a good time and just doesn't care if others think she's crazy".

She's very strong in the areas where I am weak. This is what truly makes our friendship so great. Heather is very self-disciplined, self-motivated, and has very strong self-control. These are my weakest weaknesses!!! I am always praying for more self-control. God has clearly put Heather in my life to help me with that...

Heather is also not scared to just say it like it is. She doesn't "beat around the bush" about anything. She tells me the truth, no matter how much I don't want to hear it. Sometimes it really drives me crazy and makes me want to punch her in the moment, but after I have time to pray about it and cool down, I'm always so thankful to have someone like that in my life.

She shows me truth when I can't seem to find it.

She encourages me and uplifts me... she also tells me when she sees that my feet are pointing in a direction I don't want to go.

She listens to all my crazy, stupid stories that don't matter 20 minutes after we get off the phone.

She listens to me cry when I'm frustrated and at the end of my rope.

She listens to me laugh hysterically and try to tell her the story but can't because I'm laughing too hard. And she doesn't even get frustrated.

She comes over to my house at 6 o' clock in the morning before school if I've had a rough week.

People have told us that they think we are dating because we are so close, but I think this is what friendship is all about! (Not making people think you're dating, ha ha but being so close.) She knows all of my weird annoying quirks, and I know hers. She knows what makes me most happy, and I know what makes her smile for 20 minutes straight ;) She knows what makes my blood boil, and I know what makes her want to punch a hole in the wall.

We're completely honest with eachother about where we are at with Jesus. Even if where we're at isn't where we should be. We talk about the hard things. We edify eachother.

Heather, thank you for being such a good friend to me. Our friendship means the world to me! Keep on fallin further in love with Jesus!

Moment of Confession

2010-05-08T12:57:00.000-05:00

Justin Beiber scares me. Did I tell you we hung out this weekend? ;)

ha ha ha i love faceinhole.com

This is an incredibly pointless post. But as much as I DON'T like Justin Beiber... You've gotta listen to this guy play to his song:

Wow.

In 30 Days...

2010-05-01T16:22:00.000-05:00

In 30 days... I will wake up at about 3:30 in the morning and be more awake than any other morning. I will wake up and say THIS IS THE DAY I'VE BEEN PRAYING FOR for almost an entire year!

In 30 days... I will board a plane at 5:45 A.M. and say ADIOS AMIGOS.

In 30 days... I will land in Detroit, wait a few very long hours and board a plane again.... this time to MONTERREY, MEXICO.

In 30 days... this will be my temporary home.

In 30 days... my dream will become reality.

In 30 days... I will see God's beauty in a whole new way.

In 30 days... I will sit in the same place where God one year earlier spoke to the depths of my heart.

I will see the faces that melted my heart.

I will come face to face with poverty.

I will have to trust that God is SOVEREIGN and will set all things right one day.

I will face joy. I will face pain.

I will come face to face with my limits.

I will need YOUR prayers.

Just Thinkin' about Jesus

2010-03-19T22:09:00.000-05:00

I know these are things that we've all heard before, but sometimes just putting them on paper and reading through things He said and who He was just takes my breath away. He was really somethin'. No, he IS really somethin'.

Jesus walked on water.

He said what He thought. And it made people want to kill Him.

He did not stone the woman that committed adultery, but said "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

He TOUCHED and embraced the man with leprosy. That's risky business.

He told us that NARROW is the road that leads to life and FEW find it.

He flipped over the temple tables.

He told us that just LOOKING at someone lustfully is considered adultery in His eyes.

He fed thousands with 5 loafs and 2 fish.

He told us to LOVE our enemies and PRAY for them.

He called the high priests HYPOCRITES.

His teaching was unlike anything ever heard.

He questioned people. And made them actually THINK. His questions blew people away, made them angry, made them cry, and eventually made them want to kill Him.

He loved the "wrong" kind of people.

He always chose grace.

While hanging on a cross, for OUR sins, we mocked Him and spat on Him, and He cried out to God "Father, FORGIVE THEM!"
^That last one alone is mind boggling.

Jesus was a revolution. I want to live for the revolution.

Happy Birthday, BROOKE!

2010-03-05T19:41:00.000-06:00

So... today is now my sister BROOKES birthday! Shes turning 13! That honestly is like mind boggling to me. I remember catching her when she was just a wee little one, hiding behind the couch with chocolate all over her face, and busting her for sneaking a chocolate chip cookie.

I remember when I could boss her around without her speaking up for herself. Yes, Im not the nicest sister.
I remember when she learned how to ride a bike! And it seems like just yesterday! Man, she makes me feel old!

And... I just realized how completely cheesy I sound.
Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROOKE!

Hope you love and enjoy every minute of being 13!
Thank you for being such a great sister!
Thank you for loving me despite my failures, my rotten attitudes, my temper, and on and on I could go.
Although I dont often tell you, I think you are amazing.
You are compassionate and loving.
The way you work with little kids blows my mind. Youre going to be one awesome teacher some day.
The way you can forgive so easily hurts my head... in a very good way.
You are one of the most generous people I know.
You are one of the craziest people I know.
You make me laugh when I really really dont want to. Ha ha ha
You are just awesome!
So... happy birthday! I hope you love being 13!
Let Jesus consume you this year. I cant wait to see what He does in you! Love you Brookie!

Happy Birthday, Jordan!

2010-02-15T19:11:00.001-06:00

This here is my sister, Jordan.

Okay, here's a better picture of her ;)

Anyhow, today she turns 15! That means she's been my sister for 15 years! Wow...

So I'd just like to give a little shout out to a pretty super-dee-duper sister, on her birthday!

By the way, have I ever mentioned how much I really do like celebrating birthdays?! It's a day that we celebrate someone for just BEING. Not for doing, not for accomplishing, but BEING. Being the person that God Almighty made them! And God must have been showing off when he made Jordan ;)

So... HAPPY BIRTHDAY JORDAN! Thanks for just BEING my sister! Thanks for just BEING YOU!

Beyond that though, thanks for listening to me.

Even when I'm rambling, venting, talking nonsense, or even sleep talking. You still listen.

Thanks for cheering me up (most of the time with weird, random things that don't make sense) when I'm having a rough day.

Thanks for always being so selfless. I learn a lot from you just by watching you always sacrifice what you want to put others ahead of yourself.

So that being said, thanks for putting up with my SELFISHNESS! Thank you for your continual forgiveness.

Thanks for just LAUGHING with me!

Thanks for being awkward with me!

Thanks for all the nights you came and slept in my room just so I could talk to you until 3 or 4 in the morning about things that don't really matter the next morning.

Now I'd be lying if I played it off on here like we were perfect little sisters that never fought or argued. So let's be honest. We fight. We argue. Most of the time about ridiculous things like if you can wear my shirt or not. Anyhow, though I'm not boasting in our arguments, I do see good in them. I learn more about you in them. You know what makes me tick, I know what makes your blood boil. And after about 10 minutes, we're good again!

Thanks for pushing me and encouraging me in my walk with God.

Thanks for showing me what's right when I can't seem to find my way out of things.

Jordan, you mean the world to me. I'm so proud of you and can't wait to see what God does in you and through you this year.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Love,
me.

Books for free?! Count me in!

2010-02-15T10:28:00.000-06:00

Really Liked This

2010-01-26T06:29:00.000-06:00

About a week or two ago, I started reading "Abba's Child" by Brennan Manning (very good thus far!!!)
Anyways, he had a few things to say before the ACTUAL book that I'd like to share with you. Here we go!

On February 8, 1956, in a little chapel in Loretto, Pennsylvania, I was ambushed by Jesus of Nazareth. The road I've traveled these last thirty-eight years is pockmarked by disastrous victories and magnificent defeats, soul-diminishing successes and life-enhancing failures. Seasons of fidelity and betrayal, periods of consolation and desolation, zeal and apathy are not unknown to me. And there have been times...

when the felt presence of God was more real to me than the chair I am sitting on;
when the Word ricocheted like broken-backed lightning in every corner of my soul;
when a storm of desire carried me to places I had never visited.
And there have been other times...
when I identified with the words of Mae West: "I used to be Snow White- but I drifted";
when the Word was as stale as old ice cream and as bland as tame sausage;
when the fire in my belly flickered and died;
when I mistook dried-up enthusiasm for gray-haired wisdom;
when I dismissed youthful idealism as mere naivete;
when I preferred cheap slivers of glass to the pearl of great price.

If you relate to any of these experiences, you might want to browse through this book and pause and reclaim your core identity as Abba's Child.

-Brennan Manning

More Holiness Give Me

2010-01-22T06:26:00.000-06:00

Came across this poem yesterday, and after just reading the umm... FIRST SENTENCE, found myself praying it aloud to God.

More Holiness Give Me

More holiness give me, more strivings within
More patience in suffering, more sorrow for sin
More faith in my Savior, more sense of His care
More joy in His service, more purpose in prayer

More gratitude give me, more trust in the Lord
More zeal for His glory, more hope in His word
More tears for His sorrows, more pain at His grief
More meekness in trial, more praise for relief

More purity give me, more strength to o'ercome
More freedom from earth-stains, more longings for home
More fit for the Kingdom, more useful I'd be
More blessed and holy, more, Savior, like thee

-Philip P. Bliss

Bring on the Next Mountain

2010-01-12T14:20:00.000-06:00

My good friend and I have been emailing back and forth for awhile now about what God's been doing in our lives as of recently, and something that she said resonated with me.

"I feel like we're kinda in the same place right now, but in a different way. Like, I feel like God is always working on me, and sometimes it's just really hard, because I feel like right after I've 'fixed' something in my life, God tells me to fix something else..and I know I shouldn't feel like this, but sometimes I just wish I could get a break, like I could have a month or two where I didn't have to worry about changing myself to become a better person. I know that I don't really want that though, it just seems like the easier way."

Yep... I know how you feel, friend. Just when you get to the top of one 'mountain', it's time to climb another one. And I must say that climbing mountains is quite exhausting. Some of these 'mountains' are bigger and steeper than others, but when you're continually climbing mountain after mountain, no matter what the height, you are going to be tired. You will grow weary.

So I wanted to share two things about this. The first being that, when climbing these mountains you become exhausted, right? "Feeble and utterly crushed". But when I am at the "end of myself" and beyond my own strength, is when I completely dependent on Christ. When I have no more of my own strength or pride to cling to or hide behind, is when it's just me and God. It is when I am suddenly jolted out of my self-sufficiency that I am jolted even faster and harder in to the hands of God. I was writing to my friend about this and said,

"It's like when I'm jolted out of my self-sufficiency, I am jolted even faster into the hands of God. And if it takes me breaking down for that to happen, then so be it.
A lot of the times when I'm crying, it's almost as if I can hear God crying with me. That's how close he feels."

God, keep humbling me, bringing me to the end of myself so that it's all you. Call me to things that are beyond MY strength, so that I can feel the power of relying in You and Your strength.

"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." -2 Corinthians 12:9

So later on that night, I was praying about what me and my friend were talking about, and opened my Bible up to the reading for the night (I'm currently reading Isaiah and Romans). So I turned to Isaiah 32 and read this:

"You women who are so complacent, rise up and listen to me; you daughters who feel secure, hear what I have to say! In little more than a year you who feel secure will tremble.... Tremble, you complacent women; shudder, you daughters who feel secure!" Isaiah 32:9-10,11

(God's timing is so perfect)

I'm not here to be 'comfortable', nor 'secure', and certainly not 'complacent'. That's not what me or my friend desire. We desire more than anything to become more and more like our heavenly Father with every step we take, no matter how many 'mountains' we're going to need to climb. I'm just so grateful and excited that we get to climb these 'mountains' WITH Him.

May we never be stagnant in our faith, Lord. Keep leading us into greater truths, and transforming us 'mountain by mountain' in to your likeness. Make our hearts one with Yours.

LOVELOVELOVE

2010-01-06T06:58:00.000-06:00

I'm in love... and falling further in love. Every day I fall more for Him.

The names Jesus Christ. None can compare. Just when I think "Wow. Really? How could He get more AWEsome?", He reveals to me more of Himself.

"I'M IN LOVE. I'M IN LOVE! AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!" (Words of the wise, Buddy the Elf)

I'm head over heels for this King.

And I just thought you all should know...

I Could Learn a Thing Or Two From Her

2009-12-16T15:07:00.000-06:00

I look at this girl and see infinite beauty. I don't say this because of her outward appearance, although she's got a killer smile and gorgeous eyes... I say this because of who she really is inside. I've known her for such a time now that I am beginning to know her heart, and see just who she is in Christ's eyes.

She is in my FiveStar group, we hangout together every Sunday at GSM, and I had the privelege of having her in my group at Renewal this fall. I'm beginning to see that I could learn a thing or two from this girl. The way she loves others is truly inspiring. She may not always receive this love back, but she is always more than willing to give it. I could tell you story after story where she has displayed this.

Last week at GSM, another one of my favorite middle school girls began crying in the middle of service because she was feeling very convicted by the holy spirit about something she did earlier in the week to Paige. She knew she should do something about it so she told me and asked me to go with her when she apologized and made things right with Paige so that Paige would know that she sincerely meant it and was very serious.

What was done to Paige by this girl was very harsh, and if I was Paige, I'm not quite sure how I would handle the apology from her... but what I saw take place in their reconciliation uplifted my heart and taught me what true forgiveness is and real love. The girl began to apologize, "Paige, I'm so sorry for what I did to you earlier this week. It probably made you feel like crap and I am really very sorry. This is really hard for me to say and admit so I hope you know that I truly mean this. I am so sorry. I know how you feel. I wouldn't really want to forgive me if I was you either. But I'm sorry."

I looked at Paige and she had tears welling up in her eyes while she smiled and said "It's ok... I forgive you." They hugged and then just went on their merry way! I couldn't get a word in between the two of them the rest of the night! I love watching these kind of things unfold and happen. Paige was hurt by this girl, but she was willing to look past it and realize the humanity in the other girl, so that their friendship could again be restored.

Paige is forgiven by our God and Savior and that alone makes her BEAUTIFUL. She is loved, so she loves others. I hope that I can learn how to forgive like her.

A Little Project I Like to Call : "Not a Little Project At All"

2009-12-14T18:38:00.000-06:00

I'm taking Dr.Bob's class Exploring the Christian Faith this semester at Bethel. For the end of the semester we had to do two interview papers. The first was asking someone what they thought of Jesus Christ... he asked us to ask just one "non-believer", but I wanted to take it a little further and ask just a huge variety of people on Facebook. I asked "believers" and "non-believers". Here are some of the answers:

I believe in him & i believe that know matter what your mistakes are, if your sorry, he'll forgive you & you'll go too heaven.

I'm going to be honest, it may offend but this is what I fell. When I hear of Jesus its not usually what i think of him. When I hear Jesus, it's usually in heated debates or in preaches in trying to alienate people to him. But his achievements were amazing. What he did was beyond legacy, but not many people see that, they might say they do but I think is usually nothing more than a fib.If you need anything else ill be more then willing to oblige. (Of course I asked for more!) I'm not a religious man nor is my family but we all do accept God and Jesus in to our lives. We don't go to church much but I like to think I think i have a good understanding of Jesus. I know that He was 100% selfless. Which is the most amazing thing of the man. One no else ever has or will ever be that generous. I don't think I can emphasize how much of an amazing trait that selflessness is. There are other things about him, but this my favorite part of him.

I think of Jesus Christ as a great figure in history. He did things that no one will ever do, and he was a man who lived the perfect life. Personally, I don't know if he IS the messiah, but I do believe that he was real person. So to sum it up, I think of him as a powerful and popular figure in our world's history.

I don't believe in Jesus.I think jesus could have been a person that people knew a great deal about like anyone else in history but i don't believe in a son of god. Good people who do great things don't have to belong to a specifically great divine power to me. i just began to study heavily into the sciences and i don't feel the need to believe in things like that anymore. I believe in spirituality and that people can do great things but I don't feel like christianity is for me. People are very greedy and selfish so I find it hard to believe that the stories in the bible are anything other than fables meant to teach us how to be good people.

Jesus Christ is our saviour who was sent to earth to save us from eternal sin. He is the Word of God made flesh, Who redeemed man by His Death on the Cross, and Whose Divine mission is continued by the ministry of the Church. He is one with the holy trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Jesus Christ isn't real. He was never alive, and there is hardly any evidence to prove it. The church, god, and religion in general is just a way of sugar-coating death and to make people feel guilty for anything wrong they do. Watch Zeitgeist online maybe it will help.

I think that Jesus was a very loving and compassionate man. I was fortunate enough to be baptized in the Christian faith as a baby and have never doubted for even a second my religious beliefs. I'm certain that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior!! As a child I learned about Jesus and all of his greatness--as an adult I see it--everyday!!

Well, I believe he was a person that lived, and he was a great speaker. I do not believe he is divine in any way, nor that he died for our sins. They say religion was born when the first idiot met the first con-artist, basically.I dont see one book as being significant proof of divinity. By the same logic you consider Jesus to be divine and a God to exist, I can say Gandalf is real because he is in Lord of the Rings.There are reams and reams and reams of scientific data that can explain most anything, and can be proven repeatedly whenever you wish to. Now, the thought of a God is comforting, and if you could prove it for me, I'd believe it, but religion as a whole is mostly an illogical fear of death.

"Now the thought of a God is comforting, and if you could prove it to me, I'd believe it." ...Is that a challenge I hear? Nope. I believe that's a soul pleading and begging for God, for something bigger than his own self.

Oh... now what? I can't just ask that question, get those answers and leave it. Some of these answers led to 4 hour long conversations... some led to sleepless nights tossing and turning, trying to figure out how some could believe there is NOT a god.

To me, it seems like it would take more faith to believe that there is not a god and that this all happened by chance, then to believe that there is infact a god.

This little interview has turned into my "thing" of the week.(I don't know what to call it becuase it certainly is not a "project". It's something much bigger than a project...) Or of the year. Or my lifetime. Or however long I'm told to keep by GOD this going.

alkjflkdsajflkdsfj. Some of these conversations heated up pretty quickly. Got my blood boiling. Made me really pause and think. Made me look real hard in to the facts. And I am thankful for that.

Some of the things these people said to me made me so angry, and then so sad. A part of me wanted to get up and punch them in the face for telling me that my God was arrogant and petty. That my God is manevolent. A part of me wanted to punch them for saying that about the very same man who died for THEM. But then another part of me just wanted to weep and pray for these people and love them.

I think it is no coincidence that in one of these conversations, when I stopped shoving quotes, facts, verses, and evidence down his throat, and actually showed him LOVE, is when things started happening. That was when he actually started considering, and pondering, and wondering. This boy that I thought was IMPOSSIBLE suddenly became more open when I showed him Christ's LOVE. At the end of the 4 hour discussion is when I decided to stop the arguing, send him a message about CHRIST'S love for him... and at that instant, what I thought was impossible was done throught Christ's power alone. He replied to me "I would appreciate meeting this God, but I wouldn't know how to go about doing that."

Ba da bing, ba da boom. It's not what I do or say, it's only Christ's love shown through me, and Christ's words in me, and Christ working on their hearts.

These people are not just "non-believers". We must not label them that. I hate that label. These people are Christ's treasures. These people are the one lost sheep that Jesus left the other 99 for. These people are treasures. God's children!

These people have been the center of my prayers since Thursday night, and now I'm asking that you join me in praying for them.

Remember Christ's heartbeat: "That none, should perish. That none, should perish. That none, should perish."

God, I Want to Dream Again

2009-12-14T17:58:00.000-06:00

Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.

About a year and a half ago, I realized how far off track I had fallen in my walk with God. That's a different story though. When I first came to Christ, I was dreamin' some mighty big dreams for Him. I wanted to travel the world and tell all about him! But then something happened through out my middle school and early high school years, and all those dreams faded. They were only a memory. A broken and crushed dream. A dream that was far too big for me and my selfishness... or so I thought.

When I woke up to the cold reality that I was living only for myself, which would only amount to... well, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, I was crushed and devestated. I prayed over and over and over and over and over and over and over (are you getting the point?) this past year or two that my dreams would be restored. That I would again begin to dream big, to dream KINGDOM DREAMS again!

God answers prayers, folks. My dreams are now "bursting at the seams". I'm dreaming things I would have never dreamed without Christ. Some of these dreams seem SO big, that at times I doubt myself and am like "Maybe you should tame those dreams of yours." Then I realize that A.)They are not MY dreams to tame. B.)If they are not my dreams, then it is not me that will get the job done anyway. It's the wonderful, benevolent power working in me. "Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit" (Zechariah 4:6)

This past year, one of my favorite songs had these lyrics:

God I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared.

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see?
To reach my destiny?
I want to take control but I know better.

God I want to dream again.

Forget the fear its just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
and turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just TRUST

My dreams are big, but my God is bigger. And if he asks me to do the impossible, I'm going to say COUNT ME IN! Because really... it's quite POSSIBLE with Him :)

These dreams keep me up at night, make me cry, make me laugh, make my heart beat fast, make my heart break, and bring me closer to my King's heart. It's worth giving EVERYTHING YOU HAVE up for his dreams, people. There is no other fulfillment than doing his work, and in that, finding out more about Him and becoming even closer to His heart.

Heaven Breaks Through... by Greg Huffer

2009-12-11T22:13:00.001-06:00

Heaven Breaks Through, by Greg Huffer, Back2Back Mexico
December 11, 2009 by Back2Back

One of the most powerful and exciting things to behold is the testimony of a changed life in the hands of Jesus Christ. As Christians, we talk a great deal about how Jesus is in the business of changing people, but we all know it is one thing to say that we are changed and quite another to demonstrate change with the actions of our lives.

In all of the homes we serve, we trust that God is changing the lives of the children we work with, even when it is not easily visible. But every once in a while, we are blessed with a glimpse of the divine work that is taking place and we see a clear manifestation of Jesus-induced change! At the Manantial de Amor (MDA) girl’s home, I saw one of these changes that Jesus is making in the lives of one of the girls that live there. (In the following story I’ve changed the names of the girls to protect their identity.)

Not too long ago, a girl named Laura came from a government-run children’s home to live at the MDA girl’s home. She found herself sharing a bedroom with eight other teenage girls who already had developed sister-like bonds with one another- intimidating for sure! Laura, as many troubled teens do when they are uncomfortable, lashed out and much of her aggression was directed to one girl in particular, a girl named Susie. For several weeks, the two lived in tension with one another, with conflicts and arguments every day. Then, one day it all came to a head on Susie’s birthday!

Susie had received some money from supporters in the United States for her birthday with which she had purchased some gifts. Things had seemed to have improved between Laura and Susie for a couple weeks and the house was a much nicer place for all.

One day while Susie was away, Laura found where Susie had hidden the rest of her birthday money and stole it along with the gifts that Susie had already purchased. Then she ran away from the children’s home. She got into some minor trouble with a police officer and when he asked her where she lived so he could return her, she told him that she lived at the government run children’s home in the area, the very home from which she had come to MDA.

The caregivers were surprised to see her back there, but took her in and contacted Edgar, the director of MDA. As the story unfolded, I can only imagine the fear and hard-heartedness that must have been welling up inside Laura. The director for the government home sternly told Edgar that he needed to confront and discipline Laura with strong and severe consequences. This was all that would get through to a child like Laura.

Edgar replied, “No we don’t do that here. We have another approach. We are going to love her.”

Edgar brought Laura back to the MDA girl’s home that day. I wonder how slowly Laura walked from the car to the front door. What was she thinking? What was she feeling? What reaction would Susie show her when their eyes met? I guarantee that whatever she was expecting, it was nothing like what really happened.

Susie came to Laura and hugged her and told her that she was glad she was back. Clearly, she could see the fear and confusion in Laura’s eyes, wondering where the expected retribution was.

Susie took Laura aside and told her, “Laura, I don’t care about the gifts. I don’t care if I get those back or not. YOU are what is important! YOU are so much more important than all of those things combined!”

This is what excites me about Back2Back! I love seeing the change that is taking place before our very eyes in the lives of children like Susie. Sometimes it can be hard to see, but other times, heaven breaks through in glorious moments like these! It is through the love of Jesus that Edgar and others have shown Susie over the years at MDA, that she has changed. And hopefully, prayerfully, it is through the love and mercy of girls like Susie, that Laura and others like her will be changed as well!

Feeling a Bit Nostalgic...

2009-11-24T14:47:00.000-06:00

Here he is... my long lost grandfather. I miss him.

Take 1

Take 2

Take 3

Take 4

I take much pride in hearing that I look just like him. (;

My Beating Heart is Breaking for Her...

2009-11-20T09:20:00.000-06:00

"God gave you the honor not only of believing in him but also suffering for him, both of which bring glory to Christ." Philippians 1:29

Spending a week down in Monterrey, Mexico this summer taught me things I wouldn't have otherwise learned. Seeing the poverty and brokeness with my own two eyes instead of just hearing it with my own two ears was a whole new experience... maybe sometimes even an experience that it hurts me to think of.

But I would have never guessed in my wildest dreams, that it would hurt me more to go to FiveStar every week and hear the stories of the girls in my group, than to come face to face with the poverty in Monterrey and look it in the eye.

Maybe a part of it is because all of the kids I encountered while I was in Mexico, know Christ, and know what JOY is. Though they live in very tough circumstances and conditions, they have something bigger and better to hold on to. They have hope. They know and love Christ.

Many of the girls in my group at FiveStar do not know the hope and joy of Christ. They live every day with out hope... looking at their circumstances with, well, I don't even know how they look at them. I just know that it hurts me so bad to look at these girls and see all of their potential and brilliance, but also see how THEY view themselves.

A girl in my group never sees her father, and her mom often leaves her home for days at a time to babysit while she goes to the clubs or stays with other men. This girl loves her mom, and wants to have a relationship with her mom, but she tells me that it is so hard to respect her mother. A week ago at FiveStar the topic was "rebellion". Each week the girls make goals according to the topic, and this week, this girl's goal was to respect her mother more, and communicate with her better.

The whole week I was anxious to see how this went. If the girls accomplish their goals, or take steps in towards their goals, we are told to record it and give them 50 points for the week. So I went around the table, asking my group how they did and recorded their answers.

I turned to this girl and asked how it went. She could barely look me in the eyes when she said "You don't need to give me any points. When I tried to talk to and respect my mom, she ignored me and grounded me for a longer time."

... Ouch. I really felt like I could literally feel my heart just snap in half. This girl tries, but recieves no encouragement whatsoever from home. She may rebell and act all tough at FiveStar, but if you could see her how I do... you would see past all that. You would see the hurt just dwelling inside of her. The first few weeks at FiveStar this year, I remember having a negative outlook towards her. Her attitude put me off. But little by little, week by week, after hearing her talk, I began to see that the "attitude" and the "toughness" was merely just a mask for all she is hiding underneath. I see past all her masks, and I know she wants to improve herself, so that she can hopefully improve her home life. I know she comes to FiveStar to learn. I just pray that I can give everything I have while I'm there at FiveStar. These girls deserve nothing less than my absolute best. Actually, I pray that it's never ME leading, but CHRIST leading through me. I may not be able to talk about my "religion" while I am there, but I can offer them hope.

This may sound bad, but have you ever experienced something like this that hurts so bad that you wonder why you even involve yourself in it? It only leads to heartache anyway...
I know I have. But I encourage you to embrace that pain. After I come home from FiveStar, and am in a state of not even knowing how to handle all my feelings, is when my prayer is no more than just a loud cry out to God. A prayer without the need for words, because He knows what I'm feeling, and the Spirit intercedes and prays FOR me. I believe that these are my most powerful prayers. Because when alls I can do is cry for this girl to God, the Spirit is praying for me. And His prayers will always be better than mine! He knows the needs of this girl far better than me!

Sometimes it's through this pain and sorrow that I come closest again to a spiritual reality that's much bigger than myself. I dare even say that most of my joy is born out of such sorrow. It's only then that I see what true joy is. Joy is NOT based on postive predictions about the circumstance. I could tell myself all day long, "It will be ok. One day she will have a perfect relationship with her mom." But this will not give me joy. Probably not even happiness... only momentary happiness. My joy comes from knowing that Christ has overcome the world. Though we live in a world of human suffering and pain... He has overcome it.

"In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Take Heart.

On longings and desires...

2009-11-10T12:57:00.000-06:00

"And find out what pleases the Lord" -Ephesians 5:10

"...but understand what the Lord's will is." -Ephesians 5:17

"... and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through spiritual wisdom and understanding." -Colossians 1:9

"The will must be subjected bit by bit, piecemeal and progressively, to the divine will."-Thomas Kelly

"All my longings lie open before you, O Lord." -Psalm 38:9

"For He satisfies the longing soul,and fills the hungry soul with goodness." -Psalm 107:9

Our soul craves for God... our soul screams for more of him. "I spread out my hands to you, my soul thirts for you like parched land."(Psalm 143:6) We all long, desire, and want to seek God with all we are.
(A side note though: Have you ever wanted God more than you already WANT him? You want Him and long for Him so badly, but still, there's something inside of you that not only WANTS more of HIM, but wants TO WANT more than you want right now of Him...)

Anyways, God is our sole desire. Our soul SCREAMS, longs, desires, and thirsts for Him... he is THE satisfaction to our desireS. Note that I say desire with an "S" at the end; Christianity isn't the end of all our other desires.

We still struggle with fleshly desires every day, and must crucify our SINFUL desires daily. We should constantly be checking the motives in our desires. But what about those desires that aren't sinful?

Have you ever wanted something so badly that it hurts? And you pray and pray about it, but you seem to never get the "green light" from God to go after it? Does that mean you should just neglect that desire within you becuase God doesn't seem to be "granting" you what you want... so maybe it isn't a godly desire anyway...?

It really seems like what we want is something God wants also, but we feel as if there is no way we could or should go after it right now. But at some point in life, maybe much later, it could be something we do/be/have (whatever applies to that desire). So we wonder, WHY is that desire placed in us right now if we can't have it right now?! Why would God give us that desire to us so ...early...? Maybe to us, the desire seems ... premature?

I hope this isn't too confusing. Just so many thoughts are going through me head right now. Let me give just one example:

What's the average age to get married? In the United States, it's 27.7 (haha, .7?) years old for men, and 25.6 years old for women. Well, I had my first crush in kindergarten! I was 5... that means I had the 'desire'/emotion in me to 'like' guys 20 years before the average age to even get married...

This is just ONE example of what I'm trying to say about what we think are premature desires. So, I don't know about you, but I've always kind of wondered WHY if we aren't likely to get married until we're in our 20's, do we begin to "like" guys at such a young age compared to the realistical age of marriage...? And how do we go about handling those 'feelings' right now?

Well, I'll tell you from experience and observation, a lot of girls today tend to fall on two way opposite ends of the spectrum... we girls can either go crazy on a guy and don't give one thought to waiting on the LORD to give the green light to the relationship and end up breaking our hearts, or...on the totally opposite end of the spectrum, we can get so caught up in "waiting" that we begin to think that "waiting" and not "dating" right now means that we just shouldn't like guys right now... And if we do, we shove those feelings down and pretend they're not there because we don't want to act on those feelings for the time being. We sometimes abandon and neglect the desires within us. (I'm not saying every girl is like this, I'm just stating an observation I've noticed or even experienced)

I used to think the first girl I described was worse. But I'm beginning to see differently.Really... how RUDE of us to just abandon and neglect the desires that GOD put in us right now, becuase, to be quite honest, maybe we're too lazy to take the time to figure out how to handle them right now.

"The Christ-life doesn't divorce us from our humanity. It makes us more human." -Sue Monk Kidd

I really believe I'm beginning to see why God placed the desire in us to "date" and like guys at such a young age compared to the realistical age of marriage.

I think God did that so that while we are young, and desiring to date, but still far from marriage, we will find that fulfillment in Him and Him ONLY. It's vital that we learn what it means to become the bride of CHRIST before we could ever even THINK about becoming the bride of someone else.

If we were completely honest with each other, I think we could both admit that sometimes we would be more excited to see a message in our inbox from the guy we like, than to have prayer time with God.

WHY IS THAT?!?!!! I want to make sure I'm HEAD OVER HEELS in love with God before I promise to love some one else. Because how else would I even really know how to go about loving someone else when I'm not desiring and loving and going to the one is who IS love FIRST?!

I feel as though sometimes, in these, what we think of to be premature(?) desires, we look for satisfaction in the wrong places. Actually, in any desires we can do this. Think back to Genesis 3... "When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it." And we all know what happens from there. Jason Miller, in a journey class a few months ago pointed out an interesting point in this passage though. Aren't all these things that she saw in the fruit... good for food, pleasing to the eye, and desirable for gaining wisdom... things we find in Christ first? "To whom, then, will you compare God? What image will you compare him to?"-Isaiah 40:18

My point with all of this is... well, just because a desire in you that you feel is godly, and god-breathed, isn't being "granted" or you aren't getting the green light to pursue it yet, doesn't mean you should let it go for the time being. Don't be discouraged by that. Infact, I challenge you to be ENCOURAGED by that...

God knows when the right time is. He cares so much for you that He wants to hold it off until just the right time. He may be preparing you for the moment when you he does give you the "green light" to pursue it. (Ex: learning to become the bride of Christ, before being anyone else's bride) And you know what else? I find that when I want something so bad, but can't do anything about it, is when I feel most near to God. When I am completely dependent on Him, is when I am humbled and reminded again of just who I am in Him.

Place all of your desires and longings in his hands. He'll not only take care of them or nurture them or hold them... he will satisfy them. Actually, he won't solely just "satisfy", He'll go beyond satisfaction. He'll fulfill/fill you not just to the top of the cup with satisfaction, but your cup will be overflowing.

"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you." -Psalm 55:22
"All my longings lie open before you, O Lord." -Psalm 38:9
"In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence." -Ephesians 3:12

Pray about everything, he really does care about every longing, want, and desire you have. Be in the Word, and worry about nothing.

Remember he will withold no good thing from you.

In Two Words...

2009-11-09T07:08:00.000-06:00

One of the questions I was asked in my interview with Back2Back Friday morning was:

"Describe your relationship with Christ in two words." Oh. Rats. Normally this would be the type of question I would prefer to answer in an email or application, so that I have time to think about it, rather than just spitting out an answer then and there. I started studdering, "Well... uhh... well.. well uh.. it's um well... it's..". Too many words to describe our relationship were flying through my head.

So, I apologized for studdering profusely, shut up, and was just silent for a second. I remembered that God tells me to let MY words be few.(Now I see why.) I used that second to talk to HIM. "Okay God, you know more about our relationship than I do. Describe my relationship with you for me in two words."

Out of nowhere I said, actually more like shouted, "Crazy and uncomfortable!" Ok... out of all the words that we're going through my head before, these 2 were no where to be found. Then God gives me the answer "crazy and uncomfortable"?! Ok God, that works. Actually, it sums up my relationship with Him SO much better than all the words that we're going through MY mind.

I love Him for that. Every little thing He does, every time he outsmarts me (which IS every time), I just fall more in love with Him (:

How would you describe your relationship with Christ in two words? And let me advise you to ask HIM becuase He really does know better.
(:

Rapid Movement Faces... You Should Try It

2009-11-06T16:22:00.000-06:00

So, while in Mexico, me and my friends had a little too much fun taking these pictures. You see, after awhile (ok, like after 2 hours), smiling, or just simply making a "funny face" to the camera, isn't so funny anymore. So what do we come up with?
RAPID MOVEMENT PICTURES! It goes a little something like this... Are you ready??

Directions:
-Move face as quickly and fastly and as akwardly as you can until the camera flash goes off.
-Look at the picture and laugh until your laugh box doesn't work anymore, and as a result you are left only with tears as a substitute for your laughter.
-Take again, and repeat, and repeat, and repeat
-And tell others... include more people. And repeat, and repeat, and repeat again.

You'll be laughing in no time. But don't take my word for it...

Take it to the Next Level

2009-10-22T11:33:00.000-05:00

Ok, seriously, if you have any kind of sense of humor like mine, you REALLY need to watch this. It IS worth your time! They are my rolemodels. For real. (;

ECA is where...

2009-10-13T19:55:00.000-05:00

ECA is where FRIENDSHIPS happen.

ECA is where FUN happens.

ECA is where TEACHERS become your BEST FRIENDS.

ECA is where PINECONE SNAKES and APPLEBREADED BIRDS roam the land.

ECA is where GOOFY happens.

ECA is where your CROSS COUNTRY TEAM becomes your SECOND FAMILY. (Yes, I realize this is the track team... but I couldn't find my cc pics.)

ECA is where MOVIE NIGHTS turn into PHOTOSHOOTS.

ECA is where HONEYBUNS could make you LAUGH FOR HOURS.

ECA is where ENCOURAGEMENT happens.

ECA is where two people meet as STRANGERS, and leave as BEST FRIENDS.

ECA is where UNIQUE happens.

ECA is where KEYBOARDING and WORD class are probably the most TEDIOUS and CHALLENGING classes at ECA(;

ECA is where FOREIGN EXCHANGE STUDENTS are the coolest people at ECA.

ECA is where people DON'T CARE what others THINK OF THEM.

ECA is where teachers care more about your SPIRITUAL GROWTH than your GRADE POINT AVERAGE.

ECA is NOT just "some legalistic Christian school that shelters it's students". ECA is where the students RECOGNIZE the humanity in eachother, and LOVE like CRAZY.

ECA is NOT a place I'll be forgetting anytime soon.

ECA is where JESUS' name is lifted HIGH.

ECA is where a big ole' chunk of my heart will always be.

P.S... Got the idea for this post from EDEN WITTENDORF!

Running the Race with Perseverance(;

2009-09-21T17:11:00.000-05:00

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and LET US RUN WITH PERSEVERANCE THE RACE MARKED OUT FOR US. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

P.S. Brooke agreed 100% to me posting this picture of her. So go ahead and chuckle a little bit (:

Waiting...

2009-09-16T09:50:00.000-05:00

"The life of he spirit is never static. We're born on one level only to find some new struggle toward wholeness gestating within. That's the sacred intent of life, of God- to move us continuously toward growth, toward recovering all that is lost and orphaned within us and restoring the divine image imprinted on our soul." -Sue Monk Kidd

Everything in this day is instant gratification. Everything is quick and fast- go, go, go. Do you have a question that you can't answer? Look it up on Google. And mind you- it takes about .00163 seconds for Google to find the answer. Space travel, instant coffee and mac-and-cheese (and just about anything else can be made instant), fax machines, FAST-food restaraunts... we live in a "get-it-now-and-get-it-fast" world.

It's no mystery that "waiting" is such a distressing topic. Waiting requires us to slow down, shut-up, let-up, and be STILL. Eh... be still? I don't know about you, but that seemed to be a laborious and uneasy chore for me. Besides the fact that I think I have ADD, being still arises in me a whole assortment of questions about myself, that I, to be honest with you, sometimes just don't feel like "dealing" with and quite often these questions make me uncomfortable. They urge me to look deeper into who I really am. Which in the long haul leads to admirable results and quite often transformation. But for the time being, it sometimes can be akward, painful, stressful, or just time-consuming.

I remember having a conversation this summer with my worship leader about remembering the week. Someone asked him if he remembered what he did the day before and he said something along the lines of "Kind of, but not exactly. I remember more of what's going on inside of me, than what's going on around me."

"YES! This is what it's all about!" I thought to myself. And suddenly these verses: "...set your heart on things above..." (Colossians 3:1) "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:18), had a whole new meaning. How often do I take time to actually sit and be still and become one wih the things going on inside of my heart and try to piece them all together?

So... back to what he said- after he said that I asked "So what went on inside of you yesterday?" And with that he responded "I'm not quite sure yet. Sometimes it takes me awhile to digest it all."

"Oh... snap. Crackle. Poppity, pop, pop. I believe that means waiting. Yikes." Those were some of the thoughts roaming around my head after he said that. I began to pray "Lord, open the eyes of my heart to all that you are doing in me, and all that you still want to do. Give me the opportunity to wait in your presence. And grant me the patience."

As we all know, Jesus hears our prayers and is faithful to answer them, often times in ways we don't expect, and at times we least apprehend it. That opportunity to lean in to my heart again and wait came just several hours later! I was at camp, and we were preparing for commitment night. The service had not even started yet, and I was already so overwhelmed, just when setting out some chairs, by the presence of God that I just began to cry. I was praying that God would get through to the middle school kid sitting in that chair, and that he would take away all distractions and just take them deeper. Then out of nowhere I felt like God was saying "Ok, yeah. That's all good. Appreciate the prayers for the kiddos, but I've got it all under control. Will you take some time to pray for yourself? Prepare your heart Cassie. I want to show you and lead you in to new things."

Well... ok then. I left the chairs (which probably annoyed the hay out of the four other girls who had to finish my job. oops.) and went to the back of the room, in the exact place tha I felt God speak in to the depths of my heart, just one year earlier. I began to pray "Jesus I ask you to lead me deeper in to you tonight. I fully open every aspect of my life to you in every dimension. I open my heart to what it is you're teaching me. Fill me AFRESH. I surrender every aspect of my life totally and completely to YOU."

Throughout the night though, I was getting frustrated because I wasn't hearing just one specific matter that I felt like He was trying to speak to me on. I just felt him doing SOMETHING. What? I had no clue yet. So here comes the waiting part, the "digesting" part.

Well, camp came to an end, and I still wasn't feeling clarity. So when I got home, I took a lot of time to think and pray on it. "God what is it you're teaching me?! I know SOMETHING was going on inside me!" I was so defeated and discouraged because I couldn't figure out what it was. I thought I was doing something wrong. I remember one day just going in to my room, flopping down on the bed and crying out to God, "Ugh! Ya wanna fill me in God?!"

It was then that I realized that my complete inability to wait was "symptomatic" of something deeper going on. It was pointing to some uprising inside my soul. God didn't have ONE thing he wanted to teach me. He wanted to TRANSFORM me.

It was time to move away from some of my "false selves" and begin to recover my True Self, to take another big step in my journey towards wholeness.

It's difficult and a bit frightening to let go and crawl in to this "cacoon", as to say, of transformation, and KNOW that there's something going on inside of you, but not knowing exactly what it all is.

I remember one evening while I was in Mexico, there was a storm rolling in. I went outside and sat down in it and for one moment, I was aware of the fact that the same thing was going on inside of me. Every thing inside of me was shuffling around and I knew things would change but as Sue Monk Kidd so wisely said "Patterns begin to crumble. It feels to us like a collapsing of all that is, but it's a holy quaking." I looked into the dark clouds and lightning and took a deep breath. For the first time since this "waiting" began, I was able to relax. God's presence was surrounding me. "We can endure, transcend, and transform the storminess when we see the meaning and mystery of it." I knew God was transforming me. I knew there was no short cut, nor did I want one. I committed to leaning into his "transformation" wholeheartedly and with patience. I will serve Him while I'm waiting. I will worship while I'm waiting.

"I waited patiently for the Lord. He turned to me and heard my cry." Psalms 40:1

A Little Sue Monk Kidd For Ya! (She's brilliant by the way)

2009-09-11T16:25:00.000-05:00

"Unfortunately there has been little emphasis on this summons within Christian circles. When it comes, we don't understand that we're being thrust into personal transformation, into the task of birthing an "I" that is not yet, we write it off as just another predicament or plight- perhaps the result of burnout or our dissatisfaction with life. I believe, however, that in such a summons we're actually being presented with a spiritual developmental task. We're being asked to unfold a deeper self- what we might call the life of Christ within us. To embark on this task involves a deep and profound movement of the soul that takes us from an identification with the collective 'they' to a discovery of the individual "I", and finally, as we shall eventually see, to an embracing of the compassionate "we". This task is truly one of the most precarious and mysterious pathways traveled in the spiritual life, for how it's navigated readically affects one's alignment with oneself, with God, and with the world."

My Friend Tia!

2009-08-24T11:47:00.000-05:00

Tia left for college on Friday, so in honor of that, we decided to head out to Chic-Fil-A for breakfast a couple days before she left, just to chat!

For those of you who may not know me, I LOVE to chat! But especially with people like Tia!

I always have such a fun time with Tia. And I think every time that we're together, we always end up finding something to laugh so hard at that our side hurts. Gotta love a good "side-hurting-laugh". (:

But besides Tia's sense of humor, I love how honest and genuine she is. She is who she is and nothing else. And I LOVE that about her! There are so few people that I can honestly say are genuine and real, but Tia is one of them!

Saying all that... if you don't know Tia, you should probably get on that (: I'm just sayin- Tia's AWESOME!!!

Brooke Fraser - Albertine

2009-08-20T12:37:00.001-05:00

Watch this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGx-xU6TnU8

Time to Let Go...

2009-08-19T15:45:00.000-05:00

"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven: ... a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal..." Ecclesiastes 3: 1-3

At some point in our lives, I think we all are hurt, devestated, and crushed by someone or something. Right about this time last year, I was going through an incredible amount of change, and in the midst of it all some things were happening in a friendship of mine that absolutely devastated me.

To make a long story short, the friendship that I shared with this girl for about 5 years fell apart. At the time, it seemed like "the end of the world". It was a challenging and difficult stage of my lfe, but just as Romans 8:28 promises, God made HEAPS of good out of it all. (But that's a different story).

In the midst of all the change, and then on top of that, the loss of a friendship, I was so overwhelmed and probably did not handle it all as well as I should've. I didn't realize this until just recently, but in the midst of all that, I was blaming my friend for my pain. I was harboring up bitterness against her.

I was eager and cooperative to hand over all my desires and wants to God through the change. But I wasn't willing to hand over my harsh feelings towards my friend.

Part of me thinks I didn't want hand over my bitterness because it was the only part of our friendship that I still had left. So, I kept a firm and tight grip on it.

And subconciously, for a year, I just continued to hold on to that bitterness and let it grow.

But recently, for some reason, I have been having quite a few random memories of our friendship come back to me. Some of them quite painful. So, I just tried to "put them behind me" and forget about it. At first, I thought it was because it was right around this time last year that our friendship began to fall apart. Then I thought that Satan was just trying to trip me up.

But after I was praying about it the other day, I read this in the book I'm reading, Waking the Dead, by John Eldredge:

"Christ must open the wound, not just bandage it over. Really- denial is a favorite method of coping for many Christians. But not with Jesus. He wants truth in the inmost being, and to get it there He's got to take us INTO our inmost being. One way He'll do this is by bringing up an old memory. You'll be driving down the road and suddenly you remember something from your childhood. Or maybe you'll have a dream about a long-forgotten person, event, or place. However He brings it up, go with Him there. He has something to say to you."

So I wrestled with that for awhile. And I felt like God was telling me to "Forgive and let go." But, I thought I already did that MONTHS ago...?!

Nope. God showed me that I SAID I forgave her, and I TOLD myself that I forgave her, but my HEART wasn't in agreement.

So now, after a year, and after my Heavenly Father's counseling and restoration, my heart has now forgiven her. And another part of my heart has been set free.

Another thing I realized in this all is that I could not be healed until I forgave. So, Lord, here I am, now ready to be healed. And I pray that you might also heal my friend from any pain that I may have afflicted on her.

Thank you for Your healing.

"He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds." Psalms 147:3

Big fish? Small fish? God wants both.

2009-08-06T09:36:00.000-05:00

One question I've asked myself repeatedly this past week is "where do I find that I trust God the most? How about the least?"

My immediate response in my journal was a little something like this:

"I feel like I trust God the most in allowing Him to make the decision in a situation where I am completely unbiased.
For example: Let's say a 5 year old girl had to choose between going to get Cinderella's autograph at Disney World, or watching Beauty and the Beast in 4-D, also at Disney World. Both sound just downright mind-blowing to this 5 year old girl. So it's easy to leave the choice in God's hands because it seems that either way, you'll be happy!
But what about those decisions where you clearly desire one way over the other? Do I still trust God 100%? Hmm...
Well, I know I still "trust" Him. But then that "S" word comes into play...surrender. I trust Him to make the decision best for me, but I still have a hard time surrendering my desires to His will. Which can be a big problem when trying to hear from God on which way to go; because I can confuse His voice with the voice of my desires. It is CRUCIAL that when trying to hear from Him, I'm handing all things over in to His hands. It in no way means that I have to throw away, forget about, or abandon my desires. I just need to learn to yield them to God."

Anyways, that's just what I initially wrote down when asked the question. The more I think though, and the more I ask God to really "test me and know me", the more I'm realizing that that is not where I trust God the least. Becuase that is more of a "surrender" issue, than a "trust" issue. I'm finding that I trust God the least in all the little things, not the "big fish" situations... the "small fish" situations.

Why? Maybe because I feel like the GOD of the entire UNIVERSE doesn't need to be concerned with such minute details in my life such as "Should I switch work shifts so that I can go to the Dunes? Or should I not?" So a lot of the times, I find myself ditching God in these situations, and making the decision for myself. Why? Because I feel funny asking God such a small question because all my life up until this past year, I've only let God in on the "big things". (I think I just got another idea for a blog post...)

The more I come to know God though, the more I realize this is exactly what He wants. He wants such an intimate relationship with me, that He's involved in every infinitesimal detail in my life.

He certainly KNOWS me that intimately. Psalms 139 is my proof.

God knows what I dreamed about last night. He knows what I ate for lunch 2 days ago. He knows where that ring of mine is that I lost at the beginning of the summer. He knows what I think of my neighbor.

If He knows all those "seemingly small" details of my life, why wouldn't He want to be my decision maker in those "tiny" situations of mine??

"You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know my thoughts before I think them. You know where I go and where I lie down. You know thoroughly everything I do. Lord, even before I say a word, you already know it." Psalms 139:2-4

John 10:10

2009-08-04T15:12:00.000-05:00

"The thief comes only to kill and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

Until reading the book, Waking the Dead, I never understood why these 2 statements are side by side. Actually, I just didn't even think anything of it.

Jesus says both those things in the same breath, and there is reasoning for it. God intends life to the full for us. But it does not just come to us. We have to fight for it becuase there is an enemy with a different agenda. That "life" is opposed because the enemy is set against us.

We are at war. I've always been told that, but it's only been until this past year, that spiritual warfare has become real to me, and I actually understand it.

Before the fall, we all were created in God's image. As Eldredge puts it: "Fashioned as living icons of the bravest, wisest, most stunning Person who ever lived."

We were "fully alive". Before the fall we were crowned with glory and honor. Eldredge says "Why does a woman long to be beautiful? Why does a man hope to be found brave? Because we remember, if only faintly, that we were once more than we are now. The reason you doubt there could be a glory to your life is becuase that glory has been the object of a long and brutal war."
Since the fall, Christ has been diligently fighting for our lives. Not just for our lives though, fighting that we may have life to the FULL.

Eldredge says "The world in which we live is a combat zone, a violent clash of kingdoms, a bitter struggle unto the death... and you will live all your days in the midst of a great battle, involving all the forces of heaven and hell and played out here on earth."

We must come to know and understand what this war is. Or we could end up misinterpreting so much of what's going on around us. It seems so scary to me at times, bu also so cool.

I have no reason to fear because I know the ending. Jesus says in John 16:33 to take heart because He has overcome the world.

The day is coming when the lion will lay down with the lamb but as Eldredge said, "For now it's a bloody battle" to fight for this "life" that Jesus talks about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA Here's the link to a video that reminds me of the battle we're in. And how Jesus is diligently pursuing us and fighting for us in the midst of all the world's pulls.

Be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little ears what you hear.

2009-08-04T10:35:00.001-05:00

"I think we need to be careful what we take in so that we can have a holy imagination."-Erwin McMannus

2 Corinthians 10:5 "We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted...."

2009-08-04T10:07:00.000-05:00

"It's a rare thing to have someone in your life who will tell you the truth."

I agree 100%, having one friend in your life who will tell you the truth, no matter how hard, is difficult to find. Actually, it took me 15 years to find a friend like that. It took probably at least 2 or 3 years of prayer. And now I'm blessed with 4 of those kind of friends! My small group (Lindsey, Heather, Paige, and Eden) has been together for almost a year now, and I couldn't even begin to tell you all the ways that God has grown us and stretched us in this past year. The trust we have in eachother is unbelievable. These girls are women of God. I know that I can go to them, with whatever problem I have, and know that they will give me biblical truth and counsel. When I can't see out of a situation, I go to them and trust them to give me another perspective.

I love them and thank God for them daily! I am so blessed to be surrounded with such an amazing group of friends! This past week, while in Mexico on a mission trip, we talked a lot about what we want to do next. What our next step as a small group is. God has blessed us so much with eachother, that we don't want to take advantage of His blessing. We don't just want to sit back and be like "Gee thanks God for this great group. Now we'll sit here and just enjoy it." No, we want to run with this blessing! Make something out of it! He's blessed us so that we can do more for Him! We're excited! I'm pumped to see what God is going to do in our group this upcoming school year! We've got a few ideas, but we want to make sure they are God's ideas, and not just ours. We're open to whatever He calls us to!

Lord give us the wisdom to discern just what it is you want from us, and the courage to do it!

What is LOVE??

2009-08-04T09:35:00.000-05:00

First of all, let me start by saying, I do not believe in the term "Falling IN love". Because that then implies that you can fall OUT of love. And I don't think that's true. Nor do I want it to be.

"Falling in love" implies emotion as the base of it all. Love is not an emotion, or a feeling. Sure, you HAVE emotion and feeling when you love someone, but you do not love someone BECAUSE of your emotion or feeling. It's a choice. You CHOOSE to love someone. When my parents said "I do", they were choosing and promising to love eachother "until death do them apart". When Christ died for us on the cross, He was CHOOSING to love us. I'm sure he didn't just "feel" like being nailed to a cross because of some "feeling" he was having towards us. It was a choice.

LOVE means to do what is best for someone physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially.

So how do we truly LOVE God? How do we love him in that way?? How do we do what's best for GOD physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially??! After a long discussion in our bible class, this is what we came up with:

Emotionally: OBEDIENCE. 1 John 5:3 says "This is love for God: to obey his commands."

Physically: SERVING. Matthew 25:35-40 says that whatever we do for the least of these, we do unto Him.
"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"

Spiritually: WORSHIP. Mark 12:29-30 says "'The most important one,' answered Jesus, 'is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord you God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all you mind and with all your strength.'"

Socially: EVANGELISM/FELLOWSHIP. Mark 16:15 says "He said to them, 'Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." John 17:11 says, "I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name- the name you gave me- so that they may be ONE as we are one."

Sorry that was so scatter-brained. I hope you kind of understand what I'm trying to say. It's something that's been on my mind for awhile. Learning to love God with all I've got.

Hello Blog World!

2009-08-03T21:42:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone! [All 2 of you who will actually read this (;]
I started a blog! Obviously... (:
I thought it would be something cool for me to do though because, first of all, I express myself best in writing, and I also just absolutely LOVE reading other peoples' blogs. Yes, I'm kind of a blog-stalker. No, really though! Some of these people just amaze me with their wisdom! And I can't help but read! And then there are some people who are just down-right HILARIOUS, and I love reading theirs too!
So, as I travel through this journey of LIFE I'll occassionally throw out some of my thoughts out here and see what ya think! I may even have a few questions for you, if I'm stuck on something. Who knows.. maybe sometimes I'll even have a funny story!
Ha .. Ha.... (akward laugh/keyboard silence)
Not sure what else to write on this first post of mine... don't worry they won't all be like this! I just gotta get the juice in my brain flowin! Well I hope ya stick around! Thanks for reading!